Bipolar Disorder Support Group
Bipolar disorder is not just a single disorder, but a category of mood disorders marked by periods of abnormally high energy and euphoria, often accompanied by bouts of clinical depression. This is the place to talk about your experience with bipolar disorder, learn from others' experiences, and find support.
My thoughts are dark and strange. There are things I fear I'm afraid to utter. I'm sensitive to the slightest word or look. I'm obsessing with talking to spirits or the dead. We couldn't agree on a movie or TV show so I decided I was worthless and ran to get the klonopin and ambien to just swallow. I had my back turned but hub figured what was happening and took them away. That impulse is back and its dangerous because I don't think I just do. He seemed to think it was a cry for attention....it was more of a reaction in the moment. I can't tell anyone these thoughts, there would be consequences. People are talking too slow, I wish they'd just say it or shut up. I feel possessed, demonic or something. Feel like screaming and biting. I fear anyone knowing this. I must be evil. I see nothing good...so what my hub reminds me of my 4.0 GPA...so what. What good is that when they find out who I truly am I'm out the door and that won't matter. I think there is something wrong with my bones like they could just crumble at anytime. I'm scared. Don't trust the drs. Can't sleep. Doesn't feel like anyone cares...always getting taking away never giving...".what have I become. My sweetest friend. Everyone I know goes away in the end."
-
Hey All...I hope that you have a lovely, peaceful beginning of your weekI have a bunch of chores that need doing but may put them off til tomorrow and just hang out with my landlord/roomie todayWhat about you?...Anything special going on?Have a great day and take good care of you!!..Xo
-
Once again I've had a fever today. I'm not going to the hospital because that's a huge waste of time but I did schedule a dr appointment for Wednesday afternoon.
I am so sorry you are experiencing all of these things. This will pass soon and you'll be back to "normal." Hang in there.
Laura
I only say this because I recognize the reference you used in the end of your post. Music can stir up passionate emotions. Try searching for more uplifting music. Sometimes a long silent walk in nature is all the art a body and soul requires.
Hope you can get things straightened out soon.
Van Morrison / Into the Mystic
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=O0DJ8hWgNes
message me and we can talk some... i like to help people with voices...
im pretty good at it... might help you to get a perspective on how to deal with it in your head... might ease the fear... help to ground you some...
what your going through is common at first until you learn some things ... not knowing leads your mind away into your deep imagination... and it gets out of control...
i want to help... i always reply...
dont worry it will all be okay... your fine... no harm is going to come to you... trust your husband completely ...he is on your side...
caz is a very good listener and friend. He has helped me and been there for me and he has always replied.
fdlstx: this is a song I know 1Phoenix will like, I listened to it too, must tell you this song I have not listened to before, probably wouldn't have on my own, but I really truly liked it. So glad I decided to click on the link. Please do listen to it 1Phoenix!!!
Definitely sounds like mania, do you have some antipsychotics to take? Maybe you need to see your pdoc if not...
For me, I remind myself that the "thoughts" are part of my MENTAL ILLNESS - my brain is sick, that is why I take meds, get support, Dx etc - I accept I'm bipolar, so why is it so hard - to accept my thoughts are Wrong and dangerous....
It lets me challenge the thoughts, because why would I take meds 20 years, and Still believe my brain, when its unraveling?
So remind yourself, please - your brain is ill, the thoughts and feelings are overwhelming, of course your in pain! Wishing you peace and relief ASAP!!!!!
We are here for you, hold on!!!!!
I don't have meebo anymore..
The only thing I have to add that if this continues more then a couple of days or if you are suicidal please call your doc or get to emerg..
This is all part of a cycle and it will level out..
Big hug of comfort for you and a blessing...xo
Some of the thoughts and feelings you are having right now are not reality based.
I hope you have a Pdoc!! This is the time to contact him or her!!
I don't want to see you go further downhill!
You're farther down than I want to see you right now!
I hope you're doing much better soon!!!
(((((Hugs)))))
Just because I've been where you are at now...I know how painful and frightening it is .
But like almost everyone said..it's your brain telling you lies and the BAD BRAIN needs to be contained....I hope you can get in and see your Pdoc asap.
Please see a doc, if you can, and the Anti-psychotics will help you separate psychosis from reality. No one is evil. Your bones will be ok. But you need to get some help for the mind. Simple and easy, I promise you.