Bipolar Disorder Support Group
Bipolar disorder is not just a single disorder, but a category of mood disorders marked by periods of abnormally high energy and euphoria, often accompanied by bouts of clinical depression. This is the place to talk about your experience with bipolar disorder, learn from others' experiences, and find support.
I had a therapy appointment this past Mon. and as always my therapist asked how I was doing. I must have had a weird look on my face when I said I'm doing OK because she asked what I meant by that. What came to mind was the fact that I'm doing a little better since coming home from the hospital but I am still struggling. I told her about a passing thought I had the day before. I was thinking of something good(sorry, can't remember what it was) but then I looked down at the scars on my arms and the next thought I had was that I will probably die by suicide. I wasn't feeling suicidal and I don't feel suicidal but this thought just popped into my head right in the middle of a pretty good thought. Theres more to this story but I don't want to drag this post out too long. Maybe I'll put up another post soon, I don't know. Just wondering why I get dark thoughts intruding on good thoughts. This does happen a lot too. I suppose after being a cutter for so long and attempting suicide twice and thinking about it often it makes sense that these thoughts would creep in sometimes and ruin a good memory. It sucks to be so pessimistic.
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Good Thursday to you!I've been watching a really long trial on Youtube these last couple of nights and will finish tomorrowHopefully I'll be in the land of nod soon and I hope my peeps are having sweet dreams followed by a great daySending hugs...xo
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Hey all, i know its been quite awhile since i posted on here. Its been a summer all right. Its been something else........... You know how they say not to open the can of worms? Well a few months ago i decided to find out what my due date would have been for my first baby, the one conceived by r***. My baby would have been due on March 4th of 2006. They would be 20 years old. I was R**** on June...
I think that a lot of us have thought that or do think that. It sucks. And I SO hope it doesn't come to that for any of us... but I understand the thought.
((hugs)) xx
I wonder....I get dark thoughts a lot too. I'm constantly saying "well, there's my glass half empty" attitude showing again.
Sensitive, do you mean that trauma can heighten our sensitivity so we are constantly on alert and kind of expecting the other shoe to fall? Therefore it's a defense mechanism kind of? If I don't get my hopes up I can't be so caught off guard...I know that happens to me and it's so much work to stop it. My whole childhood was trauma.
Maybe I'm way off. Can you elaborate more, Sensitive?
As far as what pagan is describing, I think of suicide attempts as a very traumatic occurrence. There are all kinds of traumas. I'm not an expert so I don't want to go into too much on this, but I know trauma and that experience of reliving traumatic events, sometimes from a trigger and sometimes just a seemingly spontaneous or intrusive thought.
(((((Hugs)))) you guys! Xoxo
I get "dark" thoughts quite a bit throughout the day. I try to ignore them or push them away. I had read somewhere years ago that it was part of the "bipolar" problem. I don't know if it's true.
But Pagan, if you think your "die by suicide" thought was bad, I have much, much worse stuff that sometimes scares me and makes me feel like I'm deranged. Where does it come from? I don't know. I just brush it away as best as I can.
Hugs! I'm glad you told your t and hope she was helpful.