I'm so sorry to see this W... I think many of us can forgive others a lot easier then we can forgive ourselves... this remains a work in progress

Considering what you've been through I think you've done remarkably well... How could you trust?.. How could you not be very..very angry?..

Then it's finding the tools you need to try and heal oneself and you've done and are doing that ... You've done the best you can and are still doing it....You've changed and grown..

I applaud you for all that you've accomplished...

Huge hug of comfort for you.. Be kind to yourself.. You deserve it..xo

Hi WW and all,

I was triggered by the thread myself. I chatted with another member who was very upset.

For me, seeing it mirrored onto my own person was painful. Some people don't have a killer/rage within. Innocents. Not me. And reading it helped me to understand why there is so much hurt in this world. It is heartbreaking on a small and large scale. I felt both.

It is a waste. I have spent much of my life trying to give back and make good....be worthy...because of unforgiveness and not giving pure mindful acceptance.

"Sorry just ranting, seems I'm much better at accepting the transgressions of others and not so much my own transgressions.

Having a tough time centering and grounding"

I totally get you.

Return to your roots. I will return to mine.

((((((((((((((((((((((((((((hug))))))))))))))))))))))))))))

It sounds like you have let your mind go back to a time when you were not doing so well.

Use all your techniques to get back to the here and now. It may take a few days to lasso the mind back in from the past but it's doable! Get your center back.

I hate being triggered, it takes so long to get back on track!

Much love and comfort.

i'm glad you posted this. am am constantly telling myself ' let go, let go, let go ' really, i'm not just saying it. i have to do it ALL the time. . .




best to you wolf. best to lonely wolves everywhere hurting.
you can get through this.

At one point in my wallowing (in sadness, shame, guilt, anger), I came to understand and accept "he/she did the best he/she could given all the circumstances."

I first applied it to my mom and her extremely hurtful parenting. I applied it to my dad when he committed suicide at our family home.

And finally, I applied it to myself for the meticulously accurate and complete inventory I always kept forefront of all my character flaws, my mistakes, my unloveability.

I cannot describe how freeing it was. My backpack of burdens is empty and, now that my memory is weaker due to meds, I always forget to put anything in it. I can live with that. :)

You'll get re-aligned. Maybe go outside and hug a tree and do Richard's grounding exercise. Hope you get to feeling better soon.

i thought it was freakin' brave of you , i don't know but when i do brave things i always second guess myself. usually. at some point.

I thought that was a very powerful Topic..issues that many of us have to deal with .

My first reaction was total agreement with the OP.....Let the bastards rot in hell.

Then I started thinking about my reaction..not very Christian of me .

I always figured , let GOD do the forgiving , I'll keep with my beliefs that the bad guys get what they deserve , and in some ways I still believe that.

But the Topic did get me thinking on the issue of forgiveness, and what the Bible tells us .

I am a work in progress, so I have some issues to work out I guess

I thank the OP for bringing up this delicate Topic..I think we all need to think seriously on it , and make up our own minds on how we deal with it .

Hugs, Peace and Blessings on every body

I read this post , then found the post your mentioned.
I believe hate can consume ones soul and it comes out psychically in your body. breaks you down. get's you psychically ill eventually.
who in the hell wants to go through all that???
I let live and let go. I TRY for my health.
as for the other post, I really think there are people here that are MORE than Bipolar! on the verge of skitzo. +
Lots of these posts trigger the shit outa me, but it says I promise to be nice. So I guess I have to be.
Lots of people in this group need serious medical attention or need to be inpatient. Not everyone here IS bipolar, they are WAY more.
Just saying "grins"
"Spit's"
Silky ~

I purposely skipped that post. Hate does this to me, too. Inside my skin, it is the most toxic of all the human spectrum.

I use a finger-pointing meditation which helps me ground myself when I am under the influence of hate. I visualize a target for whatever I am judging harshly. I then physically point my finger at my target and let 'em have it, no holds barred until the hate is fully focused.

I then raise my physical hand until I can see beneath the pointing finger to the three fingers pointed back at me. The solutions are there in the fingers pointed back at me.

Hope the rant helped. Triggers happen.

You regret having wasted so much time consumed by hatred.

If you stay in your current state too long, you'll start regretting your regret!!!!

When you focus on your regrets, you are turned away from the love and joy in your life.

If you find that you can't stop thinking about it now, try looking at it from another, more productive, angle.
Instead of feeling bad that so much time was wasted, feel great about having escaped from that kind of mindset!!!!

Be glad you've learned a healthier, happier way to live your life -- not everyone manages to do that, you know!!! They spend their whole life stuck in hatred. Their whole life. How sad is that?

Recognize that regret has its place and its purpose -- but that indulging in it too deeply can be just as much a waste of time as carrying hatred is.

Time is so very precious!!!
Don't spend too much of it on regret!!!!!

(((((Hugs)))))

Anger's the strongest of our emotions so don't see a major issue with hows Darkened is dealing with her anger it's fantasy and sometimes fantasy helps us deal no different then mediation.

As with all things learning your triggers is helpful in understanding your illness and yourself. Perhaps there is underlining issues you need to deal with. Perhaps you will realize that you do have issues that the symptoms can be helped with medication, therapy and lifestyle changers instead of just relying on part of one of the above. Just saying!

Just want to thank everyone for their replys and support.

Special Thanks to Carla for reminding me that to live in the past shuts the door on the present.

@ Max,

I don't believe I have ever said that medication didn't help my symptoms of BP, just that the side affects come with to high a price for me, in my emotional and spiritual life.

Living in the past does indeed shut the door on the present. I was very triggered by the post also. My fantasies or intrusive thoughts could easily cross over into reality and that is what triggered me. I am trying not to live in the past now and go toward the future.

@ maxheadroom --

"Anger's the strongest of our emotions"

That isn't true of everyone.