I've never heard of this? I went back to work and college right after giving birth. The work was not advised but hey I was poor and needed money to survive. No one looked at me cross eyed or made fun of me. But then I was in a community college.

I've already decided to stop working and drop all extra-curricular activities because third year is so hectic. I'll just slap anyone who dares to be mean to me. Blame it on the hormones. I'm working now so I'm able to cover all the expenses I have at the moment so my family is getting a bit of a break since they'll have to chip in when I stop working and the baby comes.

Emjae - you seem to live in a culture that still Thinks 'stigma' about Lots of things. sigh

That is something that affects you, no matter all of us, even you, might Think - if everyone were more accepting, for example (including your course coordinator) - would you even think Twice about continuing?

Um, have you Told your Mum yet about the baby? (I missed it, if you did) - that may have a big effect on what you decide, so maybe it's best to keep her in the loop about these things?

No one can know what your future will bring, emjae, but it is generally a Lot harder to drop out and actually GO Back, later. Too many 'life-things' seem to get in the way.

You are an intelligent person with Plans for the future; they may or may not occur, but dropping out might leave you with fewer choices of money or dependency on others, later.

"We" love you no matter What :) But we don't have to feed the baby, or listen to a husband you might marry out of desperation, etc etc. I get that. We WILL listen to you, and hug and encourage. And pray for you to make the best decision for You.

MA

Thanks Mary Anne. I have told my mum and she's willing to take the baby while i go to school. If he had responded in a more positive way I would not think twice about anything. The mentality my fellow citizens have is disgusting. Our age of consent is sixteen yet we put teenagers down when they get pregnant. We cry shame on making contraceptives available in schools then put our teenagers down for getting pregnant. Let me not go off on a rant. I'm almost certain if i take the year off I won't be coming back. My therapist had suggested that when I seemed to be getting worse but I told him no, I'll find a way to make it through the year and i have. This is no different.

https://scontent-atl.xx.fbcdn.net/hphotos-xaf1/v/t1.0-9/10365822_842730759147855_2493939967622691773_n.png?oh=f7a8edb0d483cd950bea7f14f899edd3&oe=55A214C5

I'm putting that on my wall. Maybe he's right. Third year in my department is super hectic and stressful. I don't want to miss out on a single moment of my baby's ;life, I want to breast feed for a year, see the first step, be the first word... But i also want to graduate next year. Sigh.

The key here is : you would not have thought about it twice ,had he been positive.
Don't let him dictate what you do with your life , to hell with him !
Go for it if you know you can do it.

Absolutely stay in school. You have you're mum's support and that's a big plus. I agree with Zeinna - You never would have doubted yourself had he not been so negative. Screw him - You can do it.

I agree, too! If this awful fellow had been positive instead of negative, you would have no doubts about continuing going to school.

And who the F**k cares if you're pregnant. You're a woman! That's what some women do. They have babies. Hence, we have a population. What terrible stigma - it doesn't even make sense.

Do what is true to your heart, iam and it will work out. I'm so glad your mom is on board and ready to help - that will work wonders of help for you and your baby!

Awww Man!! I'm going to try to hold back a little here, Iam. I don't know about your culture but can only speak from my perspective in my culture. This kind of discrimination against women went out here about 65 years ago. It is actually illegal now. Did anyone suggest the baby's daddy take the year off? No?? Until they do, they should back off you with the negative opinions.

I would not have discussed it with "him" in the first place. That just makes him think it's some of his business.

This is what "I" think you should do. Start practicing your baby waddle. Sway your back and stick your belly WAAYYY out ahead of you. Lead with your belly. Point your toes outward and keep your legs wide apart. Then waddle, waddle, waddle. Put a gentle "secret" smile on your face and you could even put your hands under your belly - like supporting your baby. And GLOW - you got to glow.

This is a very special time in your life, sweetie. You should enjoy every minute of it. And, there is absolutely no reason you should not go about your business in the same way you always do.

If you happen to encounter negativity you don't need to say a word in defense. Just do your waddle and smile like you have a secret.

If someone has the nerve to actually comment, I've got a couple of replies you could use on them:

"Could you go get me a hamburger?"

"Pregnant? I'm not pregnant!!"

"Thank Goodness you are here, your baby wants to meet you."

"Here, hold this for me. I'm getting tired."

"Will you hold my skirt up for me while I go to the ladies room?"

See what I mean darlin'? It's not anyone's business. Hold your head up with pride and walk the walk. Stay in school and make a future for you and your baby.

Love for you, sweet pea.

Thanks you guys. What I'm most concerned about is the fact that he has no intention of making any exceptions for me and in all honesty, I just might need it. If I go into labour right before a major presentation I'm screwed, if my classmates refuse to work with me I'm screwed (we only do group work in final year so there'll be a lot of people depending on me). The female course coordinator was a lot more receptive. I think I'll go talk with her today. Maybe she can get me re-inspired. I spent last night applying for community college and trying to convince my mum that this is what I want then I woke up this morning and felt so disappointed in myself. Women here go to work up until the last day of their pregnancy, some take the 8th month off. I feel like I cower under his negativity I'll be letting myself and the baby down but now I'm also wondering if all this stress I'm taking on is going to hurt us.

I don't want to miss on those first few months, I want to breast-feed for a year, I want to have time at home to decorate a nursery and see him/her sleep at nights, read him/her bedtime stories. That's the only thing leaving will do for me. But then I'm going to have to tear myself away after a year and come back to school. Unless my bf is up here and working then we can probably do the family thing. I'm gonna get myself a nanny and keep my baby up here til I'm ready to go home for end of semester. Lol. Right.

You can breast feed while in school. it's called a breast pump. You may have to go into to a bathroom I personally just used a blanket in my car most comfortable for me. Sure it's not 100% ideal but you can make it work! I did and it really wasn't that hard as long as I had help with the baby which I did.

It sounds like your mom is willing to help you with the baby. It's not as scary as it seems. Don't let some idiot who doesn't know jack about being a woman or raising a kid scare you. In fact threaten to sue his ass! This is a medical thing it falls under medical leave. He can not punish you for it.

But only you know what you can handle so if you do decide that taking leave is best for you I will stand behind that as well. I just think it's a shame to stop college because some idiot scared you. But there is nothing wrong with take a temporary break so you can take care of a baby. I'd say one semester would be fine. There is no reason why you would need more than that unless you are suffering from other medical or health problems.

If you have your mother's help then it won't be much harder than it already is. It wasn't for me any way but I didn't have dickheads making me doubt myself.

The problem is I'm three hours from home and mum works back home so she can't come up here and take care of the baby. There's a daycare centre on campus but they don't take babies until they're 3 mths old. I can't take one semester off because both semesters are linked, I even have a yearlong course. It just all seems to be working against me right now. I just called in sick at work because I can't even drag myself out of bed to go face people. I'm gonna do what I do best- weigh pros and cons and make lists.

He sounds REALLY old school... It 'sounds' to me like some judgement going on or he's comparing your situation to one he's had in the past and that's no good

Does your mother know you expect her to take care of your baby iam??... My mom would have said no way I raised my kids