Awww Loddy I'm so sorry that you had to listen to a crude mean person blurting things out at the table. She sounds like a terrible person to be a caregiver. I know how much of a struggle it is trying to lose weight when medications cause the opposite to happen. I take Risperidone and gained 50 lbs while taking it. It seems to be the only medication that works for my BP. Now i have diabetes because of the weight gain. It's quite a chore to think about losing weight. I recently quit eating so many carbs and more veggies. Hopefully this will work and I'll lose a few pounds. I hope you enjoy reading the book and that you find a revelation in it :-)

Care giver from hell needs to be reported to the State Elder Abuse division

Just because she isn't smacking you around, her verbal abuse against you is enough for you to report her

What a BITCH. I wouldn't even waste slapping her with my sandwich. I'm over weight and it's the meds too and my emotional status. Everybody wants to tell me how to lose weight and I tell them how to stick it up their ass.

I'm sorry Lobby, I know what you're going through a bit. I'm with dancing...Report that tramp!. I hope things get better for you.

Big hug (((HUG))) for you.

Were they talking about weight in general or was there an insulting comment directed at you sweetie??

If there was a comment directed at you L... I would report it to the director of the facility for sure

Big hug for you sweetie...xo

Loddy, you are battling diabetes and that is a lot more important than any comments from insensitive people. It's hard to lose weight when you are diabetic but it can be done. You need help from your doctor and ask him if you qualify to have a nutritionist to help.

If it took three pieces of chocolate to bring your sugars up to 89, well, that really scares me. Your levels must have been dangerously low for that to happen. This would also explain why you were feeling physically and emotionally ill. Blood sugar spikes and lows can effect your cognitive thinking and every other part of your system.

Forget the nasty woman or report her if she continues. But, please take care of yourself. I'm wishing you all the best.

Loddy, there is a theory from one of the psychoanalytical schools that says for some people weight gain is a way of being able to retreat from the world, protecting yourself by literally adding layers of barriers. I think it connects to the sleeping beauty myth - my late 2nd wife used to teach this as she was a psychoanalyst.

So as you say, insults are only likely to make you want to retreat further.

I think you are on the right lines with the book - you need to manage your weight (whether that means any loss or maintenance) on your own terms for your own reasons.

Weight loss (or even maintenance )isn't easy at the best of times in the most supportive environments so I think being clear and confident in yourself about your reasons, committment and plans for this will be key.

Shame on her! As a formerly obese person, she should know how painful that is to hear. I have lost 75 lbs and am still about 40 lbs overweight and you wouldn't believe the things people feel they have the right to say. Like "oh you look so much better now, you used to waddle and have a great big moon face" (that one came from my MOTHER!). You need to do it for you, not for anyone else. Listening to the haters makes me want to go eat a bag of Reese's peanut butter cups.

Do you have a supportive nutritionist or physician you can talk to? Successful weight loss is all about moderation. We sabotage ourselves because we want to lose it now, so restrict ourselves too much then binge later. At least that's how it is for me. I would report that woman. Big hugs!

that is no way for a care giver act. she should be reported.

Loddy you have told very upsetting stories about this "caregiver" I agree with DD it's time she be reported for elder abuse!

Your body may require nutrients and certain healthy fats to maintain blood sugar, blood nutrients and other factors. Size appears to be partially a genetic thing. For example, I have two sisters who are perennially thin, and I am medium sized. No matter what I do, even after panic attacks that make me "skinny" I always go back to my original weight.

I always hate it when a good person is in an environment that they cannot escape and they have to deal with idiots. If you can transfer to another place, I would.

It is very very difficult not to care what others think. We have all that shame from our childhoods but at times, we HAVE to get there--we have to try and move forward. I used to use a mantra or what folks call an affirmation to get over stuff........It's very hard.

Try to avoid them if at all possible and try to block them out if you can. Try to stay around as many positive people as possible.

Your dietary requirements probably need to be only calibrated towards nutrition and weight should only be a factor IF AND ONLY IF it gets in the way of high blood pressure or your overall health. Some people are what society calls large. I have three friends, all of whom are very attractive ladies, who are what society calls large, and I get very very tired of how society just cuts them down for no reason.

I have always known you to be a great person. (How long have I been on here, three years overall?) and people are stupid.

I hope you're feeling better physically and emotionally than you were!

I'm so sorry that your caregiver is a bitch. If she directly insulted you, in front of others or alone, she needs to be reported. YOU do not deserve to be treated with anything but respect and she is not in the right.

Self-esteem has always been a big problem for me, too. You're right - any changes for the good for YOURSELF start by loving yourself. That's FAR easier said than done. But a book is a good start!