Bipolar Disorder Support Group
Bipolar disorder is not just a single disorder, but a category of mood disorders marked by periods of abnormally high energy and euphoria, often accompanied by bouts of clinical depression. This is the place to talk about your experience with bipolar disorder, learn from others' experiences, and find support.
Sometimes when I see other ppl that have top of the line things
-clothes
- cell phones/ i pod
-jobs
-smarts
-hair
-body
I think god I wish I could hurt them so they could feel what I feel. Not having all that stuff and suffering with this illness. Sometimes I know they earn it and others are just plane lucky and those ppl I wish I could have what they had. I wish I could feel how they feel and they could feel like me.
I feel like an outcast sometimes when I see ppl like that. I have to shop at second hand/discount stores and I would like to have my hair done once ad while but I can't afford it. Or have that body others want, the ability go to school and be succesful with out my illness or learning disability getting in the way. I know that half of this is probably me stopping myself....but a lot of the time I believe its beyond my control. Some ppl got it and some ppl don't. I should just accept that and loose these thoughts
I cant always shake them, it makes me feel good wish they were hurt. I would never hurt them. its not like I picture how they would be hurt. It never goes as far as that. Just goes as far as wishing and hoping they could feel pain or not have what they have? How would they live without it. How would they survive?
When you have never had something better, you never really miss it. But when you have had it all and loose it, how do u manage to deal. That's what i think when I see ppl like that. Let them feel like shit for once or out of place, not in the lead with everyone else.
-clothes
- cell phones/ i pod
-jobs
-smarts
-hair
-body
I think god I wish I could hurt them so they could feel what I feel. Not having all that stuff and suffering with this illness. Sometimes I know they earn it and others are just plane lucky and those ppl I wish I could have what they had. I wish I could feel how they feel and they could feel like me.
I feel like an outcast sometimes when I see ppl like that. I have to shop at second hand/discount stores and I would like to have my hair done once ad while but I can't afford it. Or have that body others want, the ability go to school and be succesful with out my illness or learning disability getting in the way. I know that half of this is probably me stopping myself....but a lot of the time I believe its beyond my control. Some ppl got it and some ppl don't. I should just accept that and loose these thoughts
I cant always shake them, it makes me feel good wish they were hurt. I would never hurt them. its not like I picture how they would be hurt. It never goes as far as that. Just goes as far as wishing and hoping they could feel pain or not have what they have? How would they live without it. How would they survive?
When you have never had something better, you never really miss it. But when you have had it all and loose it, how do u manage to deal. That's what i think when I see ppl like that. Let them feel like shit for once or out of place, not in the lead with everyone else.
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Which explains the mysterious fevers and my extra fatigue. I'm so glad I pushed for answers.
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Due to my increased paranoia, anxiety, and a panic attack over the weekend, my psychiatrist has put me back in a full dose of Zyprexa until further notice. Every time I think I'm getting ahead something happens and it's back to square one. I knew he was gonna do this but I can't help feeling disappointed. It is what it is.
Forgiveness is a powerful thing, and I am in that process. I think that mainly for me, I am just trying to acknowledge hurt and then let it go. Letting go is very difficult because I am tremendously insecure.
Yes, looks are decieving. You never know what is going on below the surface, that is true. And often when people hurt us, they may not know it or realize it. Good point.
Ekatepnha