I'm sorry hun

It'd be more helpful if I knew what was going on though
It's not good to obsess over things
but perhaps the reason you can't stop thinking about it is because it is an unresolved problem?

I know I can't stop thinking of things that are embarrassing or that the ending didn't sit well with me.

I ran into a former friend, we talked for a while but nothing was said about the unresolved issues between us. And now I keep replaying it in my head, wishing I would have said more, yet being glad I didn't.

He told me some disturbing things about my best friend, she's being lying to me about hanging out with him, I understand their friendship but I hate that she's been lying to me. Now I don't want to speak to her again, and can't stop thinking about it all. I just wish I could forget about the whole thing.

Well this does sound very complicated and I don't want to pry too much.

It does sound like these are unresolved issues and that's why it's bothering you so much.

How close are your friends?

If you don't feel close enough to openly talk to them then they might not be close enough to get too involved in. Just try to think of this as nothing personal. It may have been best to be reserved and not pried further into it but this is one of those situations where there's no right or wrong. It's a judgement call you had to make on the spot.

You decided to take the safe rout and there was probably a really good reason for that.

It's hard to stop worrying over a situation like this one that is unresolved. I have an obsessive mind too. And my mind doesn't usually let me alone until I get that resolve I was looking for.

You might have to think a little bit about whether you are satisfied to leave things as they are or try having a sit down with your friend either one, and clear the air about all this.

once again that's your judgement call. But you have to do what your heart tells you is the right thing to do. There's always a risk involved when it comes to being open and you have to be ok with taking it. If you aren't willing to lose one or both friends than you will have to make peace with your decision not to get resolve.

If you can't make peace with it, then you will have to bite the bullet and brace your self for the blood bath that might break out. But then again you might be surprised. Maybe your friends will be more mature and honest.

That's all I can really tell you for now.

If you just have to let it go, you have to clear your mind. And put the thoughts out. It's really hard to do. Try to do something you enjoy for a while. Something relaxing. Look at some old photos, clean out a closet and re organize it. Keep your self busy.

Time will do the rest.

But just lean on us till you get through it.

Stuff like this sticks with me for days, weeks, he cost me my job, lied to the boss about me, it was a really traumatic time, changed my whole way of life and it makes me kinda sick that I talked to the guy like it's all good. I had thought he was a friend.

And I can't trust my best friend now. Turns out she's been maintaining a friendship with the guy all along, while telling me she wouldn't speak to him again because of what he did to me. She's just been lying to me for a year and I feel sick about that too.

It's been a little over a year and I've begun to pick up the pieces in my life and he comes along to ask me how I'm doing? I wish I would have told him how badly he hurt me. But I didn't. What good would it have done anyway.

I'm gonna be obsessing on this for weeks and that's not good. I need a way to get these thoughts out of my head.

i know you want to forget but the best way to do that my be to confront him about your feeling and get them out in the open i think it sound backwords but if you dont get some closer and resolve the issue it will stay with you part of moving forward is addressing the past

The past is past, can't change any of it now, the more I think about it the worse I feel. I MUST find a way to erase all thoughts of both of them from my mind. A year ago they were two of my best friends. I really got fucked over and I wish I didn't have it all brought back to mind like this. The more I think about it the worse it gets. It has to stop.

not to repeat my self but if you leave that door open and get no closer you will always thinkof it as unpleansent as it maybe i think you need to talk to those people and get your thought of them out with the final chapter your book will end it will always be there but it will have an ending that is imporant

I can't talk to either of them, I feel like I'm slipping fast, this is just gonna go around and around in my head and make me sicker and sicker. I wish I had a book I could focus on, one on thought control.

medation is what is noraml prescribed sorry for the spelling clear your mind and focus on your thrid eye your breathe or heart beat and when thoughts come in think fo what ever you are focusing on

You sound so upset and I wish there was something I could tell you that would help erase those memories for you. I know how aweful it can feel and seem like we are living it all over again.

Honestly, I see it as a form of panic. You have spent a year working through it and now you have come face to face with it again, along with finding out some other disturbing news.....The only thing I can suggest is that you try to calm down a bit and then write out what you would like to say to each of them. It is obvious that you are in no emotional shape to confront them or you might want to strangle them.

If you write it out, you dont even have to make sense but you will at least be getting it out of your head. Then maybe punch some pillows and scream. I know it sounds stupid but it really does help vent the pent up frustration and anger. Once you get it out you can decide how you want to proceed from there. You will be better equipt to decide if you want to just cut all ties or confront them and try to work it out.

I wish there was an easier way because the pain is relentless but it is part of being human really............xo

Thank you Shelly4, you are right on all counts, it feels like a form of panic, and I'm reliving the horrible depression I went through when I lost my job.

I think the writing things out idea is a good one. I've been thinking of doing this for several months now - with the intent of sending the email - but then I'd hold off. Now I think I will spend time writing things out with no intent to send it to them.

put on positive music and thank your lucky stars these people are out of your life ,who needs enemies with friends like these
try not give them any more of your time
he might be lying to split you up with your friend?is that possible ?

everybody might have different ways to clear their mind. we all have to learn what's best. there is many activities i have that helps me unclog. my work, talking to friends, being creative at work, going to the health club or petting my cats. if u would like to talk, i'm here for u. hugs for u , hope u feel better.

I'm really sorry you are going through this. I've had falling outs with so called friends before and then tried to treat them civilly in the street when I see them around our small town. It's really hard. But the one thing that strikes me as I read all the replies, is this: If he lied to your boss and that cost you your job, could he be lying about your other friend too? He's a proven lier. Maybe you don't have to lose two friends because of this person.

thanks for all the support, I appreciate it
- cammiecat - he just casually mentioned going to a concert with her, she told me she went alone. I doubt he made it up, he had all the details, she just didn't want me to know she went with him. I'm close to being over it - I don't need either of them