I could have written this myself. I totally 100% hear you.

I am no doctor, but if you make this decision on your own, I can help.

I am not on medication and doing fine.

go very very slowly... cut things in pieces, drag it out for at least 2 weeks.

Increase exercise and take "simply sleep" at night if you have problemes sleeping.

Eat better

have more friends
do more activities.

Live

I guess my bipolar disorder type I, plus my SAD, GAD, OCD, BPD, major depression and agoraphobia must be a lot worse than I thought.

I cannot stop taking my meds. Each time I have stopped for one reason or another I have ended up in the hospital.

I just cannot conceive anybody just stopping taking meds and leading a normal life.

It is quite clear from personal experience, experience with other BPs, suicide cases and most of all Psychology studies and textbooks that Bipolar Disorder has no cure, you will have it the rest of your life. It is also known that there is no remission, or a return to permanent stability. There can be long periods of stability, but they do not last forever. And in order to have that long period of stability the patient must continue taking the meds, which obviously seem to be working pretty good.

I just keep remembering my cousin's case, as he stopped his meds and on the third day was found by his mother in a pool of blood, as he had slit his throat.

I am quite familiar with people in sites such as DS claiming they are stable and therefore do not take meds anymore and life is again great. I always wonder if these people may have been misdiagnosed in the first place and were never bipolar.

I am not criticizing or attacking anyone. I am just expressing myself, as I know too well the effects quitting a med without doctor supervision can lead to catastrophe.

Then again persons diagnosed bipolar can fall within a long spectrum of severity. I am BP-I Severe. Could be that those that claim to be fine without meds only suffered a light case of mania and/or depression, which was temporary.

The DSM is pretty clear as to the symptoms. Maybe after reviewing the DSM these people can learn they never qualified as bipolar in the first place.

I think before you risk going completely off your meds you should try talking to your pdoc about getting something different. And if they dont help consider going to a new one. A big deal with me is my creativity and my clarity. Ive been to a number of doctors that just didnt think creativity was a big deal well for an art student its everything. It wasnt until I found one doctor who was incredibly conscious about side affects and now I have meds that dont influence me in that way - they were just meds you dont see often so its important to think outside the box.

Also I just wanted to say I really feel for you trying to figure out this diagnosis and the struggle you are going through. The big hit for me was when I was diagnosed with borderline personality disorder years ago when I was in high school. Man did that screw me up. Which part of me was a disease? What does that even mean? How the hell can you have a broken personality? If personality= who you are than does that just make me a broken disease? and so on. Like I said it really threw me off.

It took me a while to come to terms with it. Ive been through a lot of therapy and dont have so many of the symptoms anymore but theres still some factors that mystify me.

But you know the best move you can make is to start thinking about healing yourself as a whole person as opposed to trying to figure out how to put all these pieces together with whatever labels youve been given. Because no matter what, you are a whole person and no diagnosis can encompass all of you - you are unique and no diagnosis can define you.

My official dx is BP 1 w/rapid cycling( severe and med resisitant- unless putting me in a coma is acceptable) and yes I have many other disorders.

I know you say you meant no "offense" but I do not recall "claiming" I was stable. I stated I was happier without my meds. I also never said anyone should just stop their meds and if it is decided you do that then you need a support team. Nor did I say life was great. I stated I work very hard at trying to keep myself in check. I also said that basically it may well bite me in the ass later. Hence walking the fine line statement.

Oh and one of the most difficult part for me off my meds is agitation and no patience...............so thank you for minimizing my treatment choice and for really not trying to offend.

I am fully aware of the risks without my meds and "normal" is never going to be anyway. I know what BP is and I live it daily and never would I begrudge anyone who does choose the path I am on.

I do take your statement that "these people" never qualified as per DSM criteria as a slap in the face. I need to take a look at it why again? You have no clue what I have gone through and how many years it took for MY diagnosis. I did not just get it from the disorder of the month club.

I did not leave a detail description of what I HAVE to do to keep my ass "stable' for there would be not enough time nor room on the board to break it down.

That is why I never say anything about whether I am on meds or not because people like you make assumptions about whether a person is "qualified" or not for the title of BP- I also have to say BP is BP doesn't need a grade system.

Banshie,

When I wrote what I did your post was not even up in my system, so please do not assume I was referring to you. Hell, your FLAMING response has been the first time for me to see a post from you, as I did not know you before.

Don't get paranoid and assume people are out to criticize you or get on your case.

I just expressed my feelings about people that have stopped taking meds because they feel stable and are again feeling quasi-normal. If you took it as referring to you, then it is your problem.

I just feel very strongly about being correctly diagnosed and refusing to take meds or dropping meds just because they are feeling better. Hell, the reason they feel better is because of the meds in the first place.

And yes, I have been in and out of sites just like this one for over 15 years and have seen countless cases where the patient was misdiagnosed, which is why they thought they were fine. In reality they had just gone through a rough patch in their lives, leading to depression or mania events and therefore were not diagnosed correctly. Which is why I insist to be seen by a pdoc/tdoc at least 12 times before arriving at a diagnosis which will affect you the rest of your life, as once you start taking these powerful meds you are srewed.

So save your FLAMING for somebody else, as I do not know you nor ever read any post from you.

Banshie,

I just received your post, at 12:47 central time. First time I see a post from you. I guess you owe me an apology.

I would definitely talk to your pdoc before going off of any meds. It is definitely your decision. But some of the psych meds have to be weaned off of slowly. If you just stop cold turkey you are inviting disaster. I quit taking my meds and am now having to go to an emergency pdoc appointment because I am suicidal. Not severely so, obviously. But my moods are out of control. I guess I just have to accept that I have bipolar and need some kind of medication to keep myself stable.

Ya know what why don't you RE-Read what you wrote and realize "these" people statement. Paranoid? Nope sorry not one of my Dx. but thanks let me go refer it back to the book. You made a blanket statement and I do not care if you want to flame back- Your opinion is no more valuble than mine-

You expect to refer to someone off meds as "these" people and I am one of them so I am sharing MY opinion.

You insist people to see their doc at least 12 times before dx? If you are getting a dx in only 12 visits than guess what? You will most likely be misdiagnosed. It takes a hell of a lot more time then 12 visits to get it right.

I see you are the type already to push back and be antagonizing . ( using the foloowing terms-these people- flaming response-paranoid) Hmmmm interesting that because you only just saw my post and don't know me that you are so quick to attack. Maybe it's something outside the BP? What does DSM say?

My problem? Yes, you have at least that right. It is my problem maybe since you know so much and advise so well you can rec. a treatment that better suits me?

I feel very stongly about things as well and since you do not live med free and are not a a doc than do not assume yourself to know all the answers.

Welcome to DS by the way.....just lovely.

Have a lovely day one and all.

I owe you nothing and an apology for what? You r statements or opinions as you say. I never said you were refer to me personally. Who do you actually think you are demanding an apology from me? When hell freezes over. Why? Because I disagreed with your opinion. Think not!

Flamewars aside, I do agree that it is often very difficult to determine which came first- the symptoms or the side effects and to determine which is which. That can be sort of a slippery slope. Is there any way you can review your own file and talk it over with your doc to try to gauge cause and effect? I know I once thought that Paxil was the sole cause for my psychotic episodes but it turns out I had them without it, too. I think sometimes it's hard to keep track when we have so many changes.

If you did not have psychosis, I would be more supportive of your attempts to go off meds, especially if you are BP2 (although, just as a warning, I've read that BP2s kill themselves more often than BP1s due to suicidal depression)

Also, like others have said, you can lower your doses and explore other options without throwing out the baby with the bathwater. Some meds are just wrong for us; for me Seroquel and Respirdol were awful and zombifying, but Trileptal is not. (at a lower dosage) Unfortunately, we can only tell through trial and error.

But please please please investigate the psychosis issue. That can have life-altering outcomes (jail, unemployment, suicide, violence). You probably know the drill by now...

Technically I am BP1, rapid cycling w/ mixed states and psychosis. I had 1 full blown mania as a teen which was misdiagnosed then I spent the next 25 years unmedicated and cycling between awesome hypomania's and not so awesome but not too severe depressions. Yes I have had suicidal depressions but they are very rare and short lived. I am not an angry manic.. I am a euphoric, fun, dynamic manic. The psychosis was definitely strange but the onlytime I have had it was when coming off anti psychotics cold turkey. It was 25 years between full blown mania's ..... christ, what if I can go unmedicated ang go another 25 before the next one.. or live this nonlife I am living.

I will talk to my pdoc but I am going to cut my meds in half and see what happens.

Good luck no matter what Divine-

Thanks Banshie,

And thank you everyone for your advice.