The hardest thing is the stigma. As well as as the possibility of the government instilling eugenics.

Yes people are always saying to me "You look well" But I have to fight tooth and nail to hold down a part time job. I sleep most of the evening and struggle to get up. Plus I have anxiety most of the time.

Maybe I'm not holding down a job, but boy do I work! I spend 7-9 hours a week with my treatment team working my butt off so I can leave the house like many can, so I can not flip out every time i enter a store, so I can carry a RL conversation with people I meet. YIKES- The sound of all that makes me terrified! I have nightmares and many sleepless nights, my body is wrecked from the inside out from all the medications I've been on! (Let's not even go there!) I hallucinate and have terrible delusions. Did you say the ONE hardest thing? Idk - it's all hard. And you're right, doorknob, the only people who understand are the mentally ill. It will always be like that - at least we're not being locked away in institutions or getting stoned to death. That would be barbaric!

To me the worst aspect of BP is not having it under control. That made all the difference to me.

for me it is the persoanl experince of depression and dysphoria - the damage it has done to my relationships and career.

it's that even though I take the meds these things continue (albeit at a lower level)

But I can never escape what happened in the past as there is always someone or some thing to remind me.

Yes Fish its the thought that I will be taking med for the rest of my life! And the fact that my mother, who l love dearly, thinks that because I am on meds that means I should NEVER have a bad day EVER again. So when I do have a bad one she asks if I have taken my meds. She also believes that once I continur to lose weight that all of this depression stuff will go away. Though I have explained to her that It is in my head. But she mean well. People who arent mentally ill just cant understand so I guess its our job to let them know

They don't want to understand it. People can be selfish. If it doesn't revolve around them, they just are not interested.

This is what I don't get: If the people closest to us cannot reach deep enough in their hearts to at least feel some compassion, why can't they just mind their own business?

The worst for me is the mixed episodes. I can sleep through a depression or shop through a hypo. It's when I have too much energy to be properly depressed that I feel dangerous to myself and others. Makes me feel like my skin doesn't fit.

For me it's when people who are very close to me continue to not understand despite me struggling since I was a teenager. It gets so old having to explain yourself AGAIN to someone who really should have figured it out by now. I get it that strangers or acquaintances might not understand, but my mom really should, you know? When they say hurtful things trying to be helpful, it makes me so angry.

For me, it's the memory of being laughed at when I was hurting very, very badly. The memory of being judged.

For me it constant monitoring and also people not really understanding the affects that it has on day to day life.

for me it is the complete lack of understanding that ordinary things are a huge deal for me to do even if i make it look easy. everything requires recuperation time. my new word for it is that i feel like a 'splodge' whatever that is?

Recently me, Jason and MIL were discussing suicide. Since Jason & I both have bipolar, it's not an unusual subject. When we were done MIL said "I can't believe we were talking about suicide", she kind of whispered it, as if it were a bad thing. I said "Welcome to our world, suicide is an everpresent topic".
Why don't people read up on Bipolar? It wouldn't take that long. It really hurts my feelings that they won't spend some time learning about this illness that can kill you.
Don't they care????

Living with the depression and anxiety, which in my case, is dysphoric.

Not being able to sustain long term plans because of mood changes, even though the extremes are controlled by medication.

For me it was the loss of my career and other bad choices I have made in my life because of this illness.

I'm doing a speech on bipolar disorder in class this week and I'm "coming out" about my illness. I'm hoping it will educate at least one person.

Bipolar disorder is just not fun. I've been trying to think of something funny I've done because of this illness or something funny that has happened because of it for the speech, but can't think of anything funny. It's all been bad. I'm just grateful for my stability now.

For me it's the loss of many relationships.

Ditto on the jobs....

Worst of all are the suicide attempts... Last time I had a good teaching moment when the ambulance driver remarked I looked pretty together... I mean clothes matched... I explained that I just tried to jump off the Golden Gate Bridge!
I also explained that the last time I was in ambulance I was a DOA...This was not my first rodeo... Hey guys I'm bipolar this goes on forever....

The EMT then confided that his 11 year old sister just got diagnosed.... We had a great conversation while stuck in freeway traffic... By the time we got to the hospital they looked at crazy people a little differently... For once I didn't feel like a freak....