I'm a huge pedant:

Metamorphisis = metamorphosis

Weather = whether

Screaches - screeches

Dissapointment = disappointment

Becon = beckon

So so so easy to make mistakes like that, but they can distract from the actual writing.
Other than that it's good - full of emotion.

So so sorry I mispelled a few words. I used to be so great at spelling now I am lacking. But I think of myself as a writer and this is the first raw thing I've written in 2009. Thanks =)!

Don't worry, my brain's dissolving minute by minute and trickling out of my ears as I type, haha...

wow - i've got to say - that is really depressing. there is just a numbness to it, a greyness. i hav eone problem with it, & that is the last line - "i believe in change". you may want to, but the person described in this poem is describing a stuckness. if you cut off that last line i like this an awful lot, and the reason is it is a very subtle use of the "faulty narrator" - when the narrator tells you something of themselves, but in doing so lets you know that they actually do NOT know themselves. the last few lines show this:

Watching this and standing back at the silence
When will the metamorphisis transform what was once a beautiful butterfly?
The saddness thickens
not so much depression but more situational
I don't believe in medicating the situation

i think what is being described here is depression - "the saddness thickens" - that is beautifully put. but then the narrator tells us that this isn't depression, its just "situational". however, they also describe a state of separation from the self - "watching this and standing back at the silence." and that they are waiting for a change, described as a "metamorphosis". the choice of that word implies to me that they assume it is a change that happens to them - like what happens to caterpillars - rather than something they actively do for themselves. and see, that's the crux - this is a description of a person not involved actively with their own life - & that, i think, is depression.

bravo!

The sadness does thicken. I am stuck in a rut and don't know how to get out of it. My depression is situational. I feel fat and ugly and don't feel there's a way out. I really want to believe in change. I am trying to separate myself from how badly I feel inside. I was once among the beautiful people once. My diet is failing. I feel like I was destined to be a housewife forever. The situation is depressing....but only brought on by my enormous weight gain. I feel fat. If I wasn't fat and out of shape I would feel much better....