Thanks for those thoughts for me to ponder.

Yeah, at some stage in my life I recall being pretty religious - doing the communion, baptism, reading the bible going to church etc etc

Then it just kind of "stopped" in 2006. I don't think I'd planned just for it to stop. At that stage we'd emigrated to the UK and I kept on procrastinating.

And I'm still procrastinating. I remember a few months ago googling churches around this area that we moved to online. But nothing seemed "right", I kept finding excuses for all of them.

Sometimes I feel like I might get a massive bolt of lightning thrown from the sky out at me lol

And then sometimes I feel guilty for my kids. I was raised in a family whereby my parents went to church every Sunday and we as kids went to Sunday School every Sunday. So i feel like I'm maybe "denying' my kids something. My daughter's got a pink little bible (given to her by my mother in law) next to her bed (she's 5) and every now and again i read some stories to her. Not that that helps alleviate my conscience or anything.

I do believe in heaven and hell. And to be really honest, I don't think I'd make the cut to heaven lol (bad bad girl)

Where I'm at at the moment. Also not going to go back to church. Don't feel like it. Gees I now I feel a bit guilty for having typed that! (God can read typing can't he lol)

Okay, pardon that tangent that I went off on there, probably didn't have much to do with your initial post Zany lol. My bad lol.

I commented. *bump*

lol

NO girl. It's cathartic and it nets you the opinion and experience of another to consider just as you opened with. I love to engage in this sort of talk. I realize you feel guilty about not taking your kids to church, but we shouldn't. I used to but don't anymore.

I can teach my 3 year old what he needs to know of God in my own home versus some man in a segregated religion gonna maybe teach him something wrong as that "pastor" tried to tell me of myself.

I was going to a Friday night bible study for those with addictions and such. I am sitting at the "round" table one Friday evening with a sense of relief telling them that I think I am bipolar when this "pastor" dude started in a rant telling me that "There is no such thing as mental illness. Any mental illness that exists in a person's life is a direct effect of the sin therein".

I was floored. Here I was thinking I was being so good and doing God's work in ministering to people's hearts and for him to shoot me down like that. I began to see myself as something bad and that I was the spawn of satan instead of being mentally ill. I went through four long months of hell through a dark so dark I could barely see at times. It was scary. I almost lost my mind.

One day the darkness started to lift just a little and I could see a little light at the end of the tunnel and I decided that I indeed wanted to live again. I just didn't know how to do it so I started off in the psych hospital where I was indeed diagnosed as bipolar.

Anyways, I have turned this into a mini-novella. Hope you enjoy the rest of your day Hugs.

I wish that this site had a similar policy as grief support group I belong to (also on the net):

"This is a gentle reminder regarding the guidelines of our group. Our
membership is composed of people from all over the world who embrace a
variety of faiths and religious beliefs. What comforts one person may
greatly offend another so we do not talk about spiritual beliefs or events
in our group. "

Religion is a divisive issue and personally I could give a rat's ass what someone else's belief is.

I'm doing a happy dance. Hold on............. I'm dancing.

I'm very glad your faith has come back to you.

When I was a child, I used to have a similar concern. I had trouble with the way my parents viewed people. They disciminated against so many people for being different. Then I had doubts when I was in college.

I found God again in college. No I wasn't perfect. I'm very happy that you recognize you don't have to be perfect to be a believer. God takes us as we are and we work on developing a relationship with him.

I'm very happy that you have decided to develop a relationship with him. If you were a non-believer, I'd love you just as much! As a believer I can't help but be happy when someone finds God again or for the first time.

Thanks for the good news.
T

I know about bad experiences in church. I had been a member of a church for 7 years when I first had my breakdown. When waiting to see me at visiting hour, my preacher told my mother and my grandmother that he felt that I was possessed by a demon.

My family went totally off on him, but me in my state of mind I thought he was right. I was even hearing the voice to the devil.

My husband put a stop to this quickly... he called the preacher and we left the church...

I love the Lord, but I have a bitter taste for the "church people". I needed support from them and they all turned on my. Some even thought my illness was a punishment for a sin I had commented. Also, in my mind I thought so too...

Now I know better... God is a God of love!

My sentiments exactly Boo!! ;)

This is a group for all. There are several times that non-believers have made comments.

It doesn't anger me or make me think any less of the person.

I accept people as they are and hope they accept me as I am. I am a believer. It comes first in my life and I will shout it from the hill tops.

That doesn't mean that I exclude non-believers as friends on here and in real life. I have friends that are Islamic and Wicha in real life. We are able to love each other for our common goodness not hide our beliefs.

I am who I am and will never be silenced-except through death and then I get to praise him forever-my belief.

T

Yes, there is guilt on different levels. Alot to do with my daughter I guess. And I didn't even get onto the part about my son! (He's 9 by the way). He kind of went to Sunday School up until he was 5 or so.

I remember this last Christmas, our first Christmas in Aus. I really did feel quite ashamed on Christmas Day. We didn't even go to church. Or even contemplate going to Church. And that was just a given on Christmas Day in my family growing up. There would be no way anyone would even consider preparing for the festivities and the feasts unless we'd gone through the motions of going to church.

My husband isn't really religious either. Not that i'm blaming him or anything. But he also used to be the religiousity (hey, I'm making up a word there lol) type. He did the baptism, communion, was a Youth leader etc and we both kind of fell out of it at the same time. I've brought the topic up with him before but it never kind of materialised. Sunday mornings and afternoons are taken up by my son and him playing different sporting matches. See where the priority lies.

OMG (i can blaspheme here now right lol) I CAN NOT believe what the pastor said to you! What a load of tosh! Yeah, that has to be taking things a bit too far. I had a kind of similar experience with a Bible Study Group that I used to go to on a Wednesday evening after my daughter was born. I had suffered from pre-natal depression, really badly. I landed up in hospital 35 weeks pregnant and eventually they did a caesar at 36 weeks. Because i actually became "physically" ill even though i was mentally ill and they were worried about the pressure my vomiting was having on my uterus (I was vomiting 24/7 at this stage). Anyway, I was still kind of depressed for a few weeks afterwards then it just kind of stabilised itself back to normal. But the last time I ever stepped foot in my Bible Study Group was when one of the moms was holding my daughter (I used to take her with me cos she was just a tiny babba) and she looked at my daughter and said along these lines, "Gee, I just can't understand these woman that get depressed when they have babies. This is such a gift from God."

Well, I've never felt so inadequate in my entire life. I thought I must be the most horrendous mother on earth to have gone through part of my pregnancy so depressed when there was this so called "miracle" inside of me. Don't get me wrong, I love my daughter to pieces, but there in that moment I felt so ashamed for feeling the way I did. And i kind of thought that I just no longer had a place in that group anymore.

Love going out to all, even if you dislike this type of post.

I've got love for all and I'm glad we live in a world where you can speak up against a post or shout congrats to a fellow believer.

T

T-I am with you. I love everybody. Even those that get on my nerves lol. Love ya girl.

I can't read the whole thread because I know I'd end up wanting to say too much.

I will simply say I think it is good that you have decided to stay out of the churches, because that is when god or spirituality get's taken out of perspective and it turns into a social thing rather then a religious thing. (a very bad social thing in my opinion.)

First I agree that I love everyone, no matter what faith they are.

Isn't it so sad how people with a physical illness are treated so different than people with mental illness. When mental illness is a physical illness too. We are no different that a person with cancer, we are both ill and both deserve the same respect.

I know the feeling honey. I have thought so many times of how I have done wrong by Dillon, my 3 year old. He was just diagnosed the other day with a form of autism called Pervasive Developmental Disorder, but you know what? I got faith sister that he is gonna be okay.

God is gonna take care of him and it don't matter whether I go to man's church or not. I don't believe in just going through the motions of going to church and if I went now that's just how it would be. I do not need to go to church to be one with God-to share communion with Him.

Like T said he meets us where we are-even if it is our living room or the bedroom of our son or daughter as we read them a story about Him. Rest easy honey. You are doing fine. We just need a little honing up is all. :) My faith in man may waver and rightly should, but I will try to see it that my faith and trust in God never does again.
Hugs honey.