I don't want to go to hospital again so I don't tell him anything that might send me that way.

I have resisted telling them that I have psychotic episodes/hearing voices because I fear anti-psychotic meds, (I was prescribed some years ago, and they really made things worse in a way), and because I don't want the professionals thinking that I'm gonna hurt someone in my family. Lastly, I just don't wanna admit that I'm that messed up, not even to myself.

I have never told them I have violent or suicidal thoughts. My greatest fear is going into the hospital and not being allowed to leave. I can't stand the thought of being confined to a room. I did it for 4 months a few years ago and it almost drove over the edge.

I, like you, was really open and honest with my Pdoc after my suicide attempt. We had a great thing going for almost a year

Then the witch took a promotion and left me!

Her replacement is a arrogant ass that barely speaks English. I don't like her. I don't feel comfortable with her. I don't know her. I am afraid she has looked at my records and decided I am one really messed up individual. She hasn't said that, of course. It's just a vibe I get.

(Please don't suggest I get a new Pdoc. I get my treatment at the county mental health clinic and I get who I get. I don't have any choice in the matter.)

- Jo

I am as open as possible, I was misdiagnosed for years because I wasnt

I don't understand .... I mean why wouldn't you be open with your pdoc? You want to be well, no?

If I am not at least 99% factual with him, I may not recieve the best medicine regiment in the most proper degree possible.
I was having to deep psychotic like thought configurations that I was getting stuck on.
My risperdal was raised, the problems subsided for the most part.
I still get no answer to why I get terrible flu-like symptoms from BP over the years. Like a virus that acts up a little here and quells a little there.
No answer to that crap!

I know I can tell my pdoc anything. She s the best and I talk about things I'm ready to deal and I know she will be there when I'm ready to dea with other stuff.

I want to be well. I've always been totally honest with my pdoc..I've been very ill over the past few weeks, and honestly thought I would have to go to hospital..I didn't. The crisis team, including pdoc did the best they could to keep me home..Hospital really is the very last resort here..

I am pretty open with my pdoc....... but she's not very good at listening..... I will never discuss suicidal ideation/behaviour with her.... I know where it all ends, and if I feel that way, last thing I want to do is talk about it...

the only time I haven't been open with pdoc is when I am convinced there's only one way out..obviously survived..but yeah, I lied that time.
I think it's important to talk about it while you still can because in my experience you can to a state where the decision is made & no one is the wiser.

& I would say Im very proactive these days.

I feel nasty when I get my meds changed, and scared I will go manic (again) and max out my credit card again, or something, so unless my hair is falling out or something, I am NOT going to complain - about anything.
But keeping those charts is a great idea. That way, even if you're doing well, and something goes wrong, it will help you figure out the reason a lot faster.

Me too Evaloon!!

i tell them what is going on with my life but nothing that is gonna get my kid taken away or me being sent to the ward