I actually think you've gotten a lot of honest feedback and support Voltaire...
It might not be what you want to hear!!... But a lot of us have sabotaged our own well being at some point and believe that this might be something that you should hear..

The reason we respond is because we do care but when I read that someone is in a suicidal depression and stopping medication I see a potential catastrophe so I won't mince words..

I hope you'll at least consider that perhaps some of us just might be right and that we may just know something...

. This isn't about judgement ...It's about saying..... why are you making decisions that are almost certainly going to take you down a bad path??.... out of concern for you

Sometimes we have to hear a hard truth and just accept it. I hear that everyone on here cares about you. Now that is awesome. I also hear that you are experimenting with your drugs and that is not so awesome because it is dangerous. It is great you came on and told your truth about all this because maybe now it opened your eyes in more ways than one...that your life is important and worth turning your mind towards a willingness to work with your doctors before you handle things on your own. Secondly that people want to see you take a hold of this disorder in a responsible and safe manner so that you can have as much joy and peace as possible.

I used to be very willful and wanted to do things my way. It didn't work out for me very well. I stayed with that attitude for many years before I turned my mind towards willingness to get out of the perpetual rut. I had to get group therapy/therapy on top of just meds. It really helped and still helps me today. The point is you will not by willpower alone control this disorder..it is in control. You have to find healthy safe ways to get the upper hand...and once you do that you will find you are in the most effective place since it all started. That is really what people want..to be validated and effective. You are both those things now but maybe caught up too much in the emotional mind and may need some guidance on how to get out of that..how to deal with that and learn to trust your wise mind.

Anyways good luck to you. Continue to come get support as you need...that is really a strength.

There are cool things about threads on here - once you hit send, its out of your control.

Maybe you are super - uber sensitive and took things wrong, be careful writing threads and hurting others - like the whole mojo thing - Maybe your not ready to hear some of the hard stuff, the miles we've walked in your shoes - but saying them and typing them? The thread has its own life, and maybe 12.5 needed to read, see and get something from Mojo's words - which were said in a "sigh" not a poke.

What you are going through right now - withdrawal, crabby, sensitive, wanting 100% unconditional love - well, it aint going to happen (((((BIG HUG)))) Every human being in this world will disappoint you. We are a bunch of sick people hanging out together, odds are much higher here!!!! LOL

I want to add - we learn lesson, and usually the hard way - I have a story I tell friends, that are hard headed and don't get it, denial or stubborn, doesn't matter.... goes something like this...

The first time you get a lesson - it cost $1.00 - that doesn't bother you much, don't think about it, pay the dollar.

Next time the same lesson comes back, its now $10.00 - you might complain, but you pay the $10, don't pay much attention to it....

The next time the lesson, you keep getting and not learning comes back - its now $100... that hurts, you might not have it, you might try and avoid that lesson, you might not want to feel this stress again - so you learn.

or not

You don't learn, the lesson comes back again - $1000!

LMAO - so, if you don't learn, don't go off your meds - you will feel this horrible. we remember, we all have tried and failed, and now when we want to go off, wanting the "old me" back - we remember, detox, inpatient, blood, tickets, fines, etc, etc..

Same rule with a boyfriend/girlfriend - each time the same lesson comes back, its bigger! If someone is abusive when you meet? Ummm, that is there HELLO! enough of my rant - lovely to see you back... remember, lots of people get things from the threads, not just who typed them ((((BIG HUG))))

So please - next time you want to fuck with your meds - remember how bad you feel NOW, when its a $10 lesson : )

Hugs, I hope that things get better.

You should never quit your meds cold turkey, if that is indeed what you did. A slower taper is best. Maybe a different medication would be better for you but you have to stay on them and you have to give it a while to get used to them.

Well, you asked a question ......

"I thought going off Seroquel and other antipsychs was supposed to help restore your quirky personality?????"

I'd be surprised if anyone agreed with that within the context of just going off your meds, especially when doing so has the results that you say you're going through.

If we didn't give a shit about you, we might say, 'Sure!! Go for it!'
Or -- and more likely -- just pass on by and not post to your thread at all.

But we care!!
We've seen this scenario played out so many times on the board and/or have actually walked in your shoes!!!

I'm sorry that you didn't get what you were hoping to, in response to your post.
But I hope that you will come to see that all of the comments were well-meant!!!
We said what we thought you needed to hear!!!

Whatever ensues tomorrow, I hope it results in you feeling better and being in a happier place!!!

Good luck!!!

(((((Hugs)))))