Bipolar Disorder Support Group
Bipolar disorder is not just a single disorder, but a category of mood disorders marked by periods of abnormally high energy and euphoria, often accompanied by bouts of clinical depression. This is the place to talk about your experience with bipolar disorder, learn from others' experiences, and find support.
I really dislike people who think BP is only mood swings. Its more than that, And when I try explaining that I have BP 1, and that I'm still Manic, they just say I'm young and trying to have fun. They don't understand that the girl they know right now, really isn't me. I don't want to do the things I end up doing with my friends, but its as if at night, I understand what I do is wrong, a badddd Idea, at times I cry because I don't want to do it anymore (sex, smoking, drinking). But when I wake up, I'm just looking for crazy things to do. I'm glad I don't have money or I would end up getting another tattoo I don't even like! They called me a ginny pig! They don't even know how bad it gets because I never talk about the manic episode I had when I left home and went to live in NY for 7-8 months. I wouldn't want to get judged for sleeping with 15-20 men.. Having a Xanax addiction and drinking on it, blacking out and repeating it every day.. I just wish people would understand it more. And boyfriends, forget it! I'm going to start having guys write me a research paper on Bipolar! Of course when I was younger (14-18) I didn't believe I have BP, I thought I was just a normal teenager having a hard time making the right friends, I hated taking all these different medication. But after getting of meds and a few months later going threw the whole NY crazy phase, I believed it, and I returned home to get help! There's my rant. Its just hard when people don't get it, it's not like I'm happy I have BP, but I'm doing what I can to become stable. I'm thankful my mother understands it, but even she gets tired of it. Hope I find the right dose of Lithium ER.
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When i was in the ER February 16th 2025, i was being admitted to ICU where i was for 3 weeks, then had to relearn to walk for 3 weeks in another hospital rehab floor, the nurse told me something that made me feel for over 18 months now that i was finally *safe*. She told me that the guy who raped and beat me 21 years ago now almost 20 years at that time, was in prison as of a month before that...
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Sometimes, I think I have ODD. I can be oppositional. It seems that the only times that I feel like cleaning are when I should be doing something else or I have to go somewhere. Well, not everytime but most of the time. Yesterday, I was supposed to be doing online training for work but instead, I decided to work on my kitchen table. Most of the time, I don't know where to start and give...
Nope ..... nobody gets it really ...... except others with BP. I'm BP2 so I don't fully comprehend the mania but I know I've done plenty of ridiculous things while hypo.
For me, I've learned that there are just a few in a lifetime who will actually "get it" and all that being BP is. But that doesn't stop me from having healthy relationships and doing things that make me happy, satisfied and, most importantly, not mortified!
Hang in there!! You're doing good.
Even with all due appreciation for the brothers and sisters in healing who have contributed so much, their understanding is not as healing as my own understanding.