Trying to set some major life changes in motion. For one I started exercising again. Aside from the shooting pains in my calves [which is likely just a lactic acid buildup, I'm not worried or bothered by it much because it's familiar as I used to be a cardio fiend] and weird metabolic shifting all is going quite smoothly.

Bad news then good.

I won't go into it much, but a week and a half or so back [my sense of time is way off, that may not be accurate so I'm going by the rate at which the scar tissue is forming] I acted out a self-mutilation episode. I went to two different hospitals, and when presented with the option I opted [read: chickenshitted] out of inpatient. Pretty much it was a low point for me that I'd go so far as to say bordered on relapse.

Since then I've been going for long walks every day along with dance practice. So I'm basically posting the results physical activity is having on my body and mind.

I feel super tired and if you're reading this right now you 'ave caffeine to thank for my being awake, heh. I've had Mania since but it's mild, which is disappointing. I still sing Under the Bridge and Bright Eyes stuff but I don't pretend I'm the early-90's Anthony Kiedis in my head.

But also I've managed to dodge any serious depression. I've seriously not had one episode since and I'm trying not to jinx that but it's fantastic.

I'm doing walks and stuff mostly to lose the last pesky few pounds lol, I won't pretend my motives aren't vain, but the upsides are exceeding my expectations. My friend's coming from Atlanta so I can't extrapolate as much as I'd like right -naow- but if exercise is something you were on the fence about, as far as possible bipolar treatments it is something I'd recommend.

Oh, I randomly recalled something my ex [severely bipolar also] told me yesterday. "If you can moderate/control your mania and pace yourself with energy you can lessen the lows" which kind of makes me frown loudly but it DOES make sense, lol. Never thought about that before.