Your religious group sounds like a cult and you're well to be rid of them. The use of the word "master" reminds me of The Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles or the movie Kung Fu Hustle. I hope that's not offensive, I'm not trying to be. Did you get treatment for your mania? To me that's the main thing. Depression is harmful, too, but I've never been arrested while I was depressed the way I was in mania. Journaling and therapy helped me deal with the guilt. Learn to be yourself and like it.

I agree with tommy.... The word master gives me the creeps!.... It does sound like a cult to me as well
What religion is this and who is this master??

We need to be super selective with who we hang out with bc of this disorder. Moods might make us susceptible to dangerous people and things. I'm sorry about your bf but from what I can understand from a former post you made it was only a 7 month internet relationship .like you maybe too easily influenced. You gotta watch out for yourself and take care of you and if people are going to only like you manic they are not worth your company.

Please take care of yourself and the people you surround yourself with. Try not to give your peace of mind away to others. Don't know how this will come across but I mean it to only help you. HUGS!

Dears Sun, Tommy and Nester,
I agree with all of you. What made me feel bad is the fact that the only social group I belonged too was this institution (hindu, by the way).
Now, apart from internet, I have no contact with humans.
And yes, Tommy, I overestimated my relationship with a boy in internet, but this happened because I had no other choice. I take care of my 84 years old mother. That boy was my only escape from this prison. The institution and the master made me live intense ups and downs, and I don't want to go through that again. I suppose I am too needy, and give it all when I feel passionate about something or somebody.

Do you see a psychiatrist now?... Can you be referred to a therapist??.. A therapist can help with making good choices for you and can also help you start getting out socially in a way that will enrich your life and not hurt you...
If anyone wants to be called Master I would run the other way... The only thing this guy cares about is what he gets off on and I don't believe it's about any religion ...It's all about him!
Big hug for you sweetie... I'm so sorry you're going through such a bad time right now....xo

I took care of my parents for six years as well when they were sick and I almost never got out....I had no social life so I get it...

There is a very good caregivers support group on here as well as caring for aging parents... I know this is still the internet however they are good support DS groups

Caring for Aging Parents

http://www.dailystrength.org/c/Caring-For-Aging-Parents/support-group

Caregivers Support

http://www.dailystrength.org/c/Caregivers/support-group

You might be able to find groups that meet up on the net in your area... I would look up social groups near where you live as well... There might be people that meet for coffee or to go to a show... Safe groups

Dear Sun, thank you so much. If you cared for your parents you know what I am going through. It has been 7 long years.
The master gave me some teachings but I agree that his ego is all that matters.
I have a psychiatrist but I only see him to get my prescriptions. He is a great guy and knows me since I was 16.
Thanks for the groups recommendation.