I don't necessarily think it's will power. Have you ever done any CBT and behavioral scheduling? It's kind of like you schedule out your day and try to fit certain types of things - self-care, pleasurable, mastery (something hard that you want to work on like for me crochet was there at one time), chore type stuff - into a day. It's scheduled and you don't like stress if you don't do something (haha I know that's tough). The idea is that you gain the motivation by doing - you put the cart before the horse. It helped me.

I'm sorry you feel that way though. I don't know if any of this is going to help, but I hope so.

Hi Airknight,

Welcome!

Depression is a hard illness to conquer it sucks the joy out of all the corners of your life and tells you you can't manage.

The hard part is not to listen to it's convincing lies.

Do what ever you can to keep going even if it's a bit tiring. Pay attention to sleep (don't over do it or under do it). Exercise any way you can fit it in...it really does help your brain...

In depression baby steps in any direction work...

(((((hugs))))) none of this is going to be easy

I know that when I'm depressed all my motivation goes out the window. We all get to make decisions about where we're at and where we're going. Sounds like a good step for you was adjusting your meds. Our state of being is something we all need to keep working on and I find it's good to keep goals and efforts at a reasonable level. Then we can enlarge our scope as we see fit.

Hi and Welcome to DS :) I couldn't agree more with all who have made suggestions for you to try....stagnation breeds more stagnation and self-beating up of the 'why can't I" syndrome. Recently I've replaced the I can't with I want, more times than not I'm perfectly capable of doing whatever is need in the I can't realm, I just don't want to, which for me only creates more frustration and anxiety. Structure is a Huge part of life and the ability to reach goals! Baby Steps, to increase motivation, and to help push through the apathy. Best to you! ml

You said "I adjusted my meds again." Are you adjusting your meds or are you going to a Pdoc to get your meds/treatments adjusted? If your doing it yourself, odds are you're not going to find the right pharmaceutical dose to get you to the place you want to be, its a job for a Pdoc.

Balancing our everyday lives with our BiPolar lives is the only way to successfully manage this disease, it's never going away so the more you can integrate the 2 and live them together the easier it is to live. I can assure you it has nothing to do with Will Power....you can't will yourself to feeling better. A proper Medication Cocktail and Therapy are the only way to manage your BiPolar life.

Hi and Welcome airknight.... I'm glad you found us and sorry that you're in a dark place... I was just going to ask you what OlderC wrote.... Are you adjusting medication yourself or are you working with a psychiatrist?
I think you've been given some good advise sweetie..... Big hug .....xo

My Psychiatrist is adjusting the meds.

That's good sweetie.... I find when I'm in a depression that baby steps are the best thing for me otherwise I can feel overwhelmed
Perhaps you can plan a couple of small things in a day to start out while working on your meds..... If you're staying in your room too much maybe come out of your room 2-3 times a day for a half hour at a time
Have a cup of tea or coffee with your family or maybe lunch and remind yourself that you are working with your doctor to get in a better place..... Big hug.....xo