Bipolar Disorder Support Group
Bipolar disorder is not just a single disorder, but a category of mood disorders marked by periods of abnormally high energy and euphoria, often accompanied by bouts of clinical depression. This is the place to talk about your experience with bipolar disorder, learn from others' experiences, and find support.
I'm sick and confused' hurting and lost. I am so confused don't know what's real anymore. Holding on to hope. I need to go to sleep. My thoughts trap and scare me. I thought wrong all day. I'm sick. I don't know what to say to my therapist. I've got to start working on me and stop talking about my relationship. He loves me he is all I got. He loves me. I've been seeing everything wrong. I've got to work on me. I've got to climb out of this hole. I've got to get better. I've got to start working on me!! I've got to love myself and trust my loved ones and stop pushing them away or getting angry at them. I've got to love them. I've got to love myself.
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I did the dumbest thing today. I charged my earbuds, unplugged the block and put the block in my little bag instead of the earbuds. I wasn't happy about that when I got to the gym. What a dummy!
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Ever since I stopped doing therapy because of insurance, I've been feeling that old tense and irritable sense of anxiety and stress. I hate that. I was making so many strides and changes during therapy, my therapist would acknowledge all of my progress and accomplishments, and I miss that reassurance. Today I thought about it, and I made those changes! She would always tell me that I chose to...
One of the tools I use to manage my own symptoms is "The Daily Inventory." When I am feeling fragile, the daily inventory becomes a running inventory; especially when I am hypo-manic. Within that psycho-inventory are what I call, "Psycho Flags." Those are phrases and other tics that are part of my personal, established mental health cycle. "I've got to _____." is one of the phrases I, strictly personal, use to push myself to the bi-polar extremes. As I read your post, I realized my own "Got To" list has been getting out of hand lately. Natural enough, I suppose, since I have been in an extremely demanding phase of life, but. . . Letting my hypo-mania escalate to full mania has yet to be helpful.
When I am beating myself up with my got-to list, I find it helpful to pick a got-to off the list and focus on the one goal until I am confident I have accomplished it. Hope you don't mind if I borrow an item from your got-to list. "I've got to love myself."
I've got to love myself enough to have faith that I am doing the best I can with what I have to work with.
Hm-m-m-m. . . Easier said than done. Guess I better keep practicing. Works in progress. . .
Thanks for the reminder, Brav.
If you can read below, try to change Every Got To, with the belief of hope you wrote, and Know You Do Have Power within you to find Your Way. Seek out the help from people you Do Trust, and can listen to you, speak honestly to what you are asking of them...Not Manipulation, or placating words, or angry words that add to your confusion...just honest and real, and loving....sending you comfort and peace for mind body and soul.
"I Want To" make the change to love myself.
"I Want To" make the change to work on me.
"I Want To" climb out of this hole.
And by taking One area to work on, perhaps write in a journal what You Want to achieve to help yourself.
What You Want to achieve with your family.
What You Want to achieve to have a healthy relationship with your boyfriend.
What you want to achieve with your work.
Go Slow, baby steps, and as you figure out each of the 'whats' You Are Loving and Working on Yourself. It is all a process that takes time and patience with You being kind and loving to You. Sometimes that is the hardest of all things, we bp'ers do tend to beat the living hell out of ourselves...I find listening to meditation on utube to be so calming, mentally healing. Here are two links, I hope they will give to you, what they give to me. ML
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=wuLKvcn-c7A
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Yv2KBbYWEjk