Bipolar Disorder Support Group

Bipolar disorder is not just a single disorder, but a category of mood disorders marked by periods of abnormally high energy and euphoria, often accompanied by bouts of clinical depression. This is the place to talk about your experience with bipolar disorder, learn from others' experiences, and find support.

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Shifting sands

rubyblue
rubyblue

Well I knew the sand would shift. I was trying to work out the difference between sadness and depression. I have sadness in my life. Don't we all. But I think the depression is getting worse. I am so tired, emotionally and spiritually. I sit and stare into space. I have no motivation. Zero. I think if I slept for a year it wouldn't be enough. The basic trigger? I just want to be important in someone's eyes. I crave contact and companionship. I've made it so I'm all alone, and that's a hard pill to swallow. I wish I was healthier. I'm wondering about an antidepressant Just something to lift my head a little bit. A bit of respite. Idk, pills are not the answer to everything. Strength of character, and self belief, are. Having desires, dreams, and hope. 


Maybe if I wasn't so tired, things wouldn't seem so bad. But how do you get beyond pure, unadulterated exhaustion? 

Elle2618
Elle2618
I can empathize a lot w everything you said, except the sleep part. I wish I could sleep more. It's gotten a little better but my circadian rhythms are off.

I've gotten to the point I think meds might help more than hurt. I have also isolated myself a lot. I don't see the point of getting up except that I can't sleep well.

I wish I was healthier as well. Eating is a weird issue for me. I eat, but I'm very picky.

And I get the feelings of things shifting. I'm usually more depressed but occasionally I'll get more manic and honestly to me it feels great. It's not dangerous bc it's not that intense. If the anxiety wasn't present I'd rather be like that all the time.

I have an appointment w the first psychiatrist I've seen in 4 years this month. Hang in there. You're not alone.
Community LeaderSunCloudJD
SunCloudJD
Aww.... Big hug for you sweetie.... This time of year is so hard and the therapy that you've started can really rip the rug from underneath you
Can you make an appt to see your pdoc Rubes?...Maybe having your meds reviewed is a great idea
I always find Christmas hard now.... Lonely
I'm hugging you my friend....xo
pepperfan87
pepperfan87
I think you put it really well, SunCloud. The road to managing BiPolar is full of ups and downs. It's impossible to predicts what's next. I can't tell you how many times I found myself depressed and looking for an answer when the easiest one was out the window. Weather and time of year is such a simple and yet HUGE factor.

Take care, RubyBlue.
MoobbusT
MoobbusT
By doing things I am interested in or love to do. Then the tiredness and exhaustion seem not to matter very much. The trick is finding interest and love for something inside. Like fur babies. Why not start a moggy minding service where you will take moggies for a few days while people go away? Start kidnapping fur babies and holding them for ransom? Get yourself another cat? They are easier to get along with than people, especially when there are complications. Become a cat portrait artist? Write some cat poetry? Write the story out of an adventure involving a cat? OK OK enough cat suggestions... but you get the idea :-)
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