Well I knew the sand would shift. I was trying to work out the difference between sadness and depression. I have sadness in my life. Don't we all. But I think the depression is getting worse. I am so tired, emotionally and spiritually. I sit and stare into space. I have no motivation. Zero. I think if I slept for a year it wouldn't be enough. The basic trigger? I just want to be important in someone's eyes. I crave contact and companionship. I've made it so I'm all alone, and that's a hard pill to swallow. I wish I was healthier. I'm wondering about an antidepressant Just something to lift my head a little bit. A bit of respite. Idk, pills are not the answer to everything. Strength of character, and self belief, are. Having desires, dreams, and hope.
Maybe if I wasn't so tired, things wouldn't seem so bad. But how do you get beyond pure, unadulterated exhaustion?