I’ve been through losing friendships after being diagnosed. I was told I changed but I didn’t see and understand how that was done. I eventually stopped trying to be liked again and just count on those that stuck by me. I started reading inspirational and motivational quotes, I colored, did family get togethers, and went on dates with my husband.

Hello everyone how was your day

Nemo 15 i understand you.My family disowned me my dad passed away year ago mos 2002 have 2 kids 1 went the wrong way n other did the right thing lost my baby pug in a roll over accident 90 ft down the mountain they said we should have been dead they cut me out og the vehicle all 3 of us injured n god took my dog. I have been raped 3 victim domestic violence my whole lofe including 27 yr relationship my ex it was bad i had many nightmares non stoplike i was being killed n more to that i dont live there no more i have a boyfriend n we live together he treats me good n i love him.Ihave nooneelse i no how that feels if u like to talk get back n to finish im always crying cant help it n dont no why.Thanku

Well I did it a little differently. I left all of my family, purposely picked up and moved 1350 miles away from all of them, so keep myself as stable as possible and take better care of me so I could be a better mom and provider for my sons.

I'm retired from the Mental Health field, so the way I've always approached my BiPolar is to research every aspect of it, i.e. symptoms, moods, triggers, meds, etc. Every time something new happened I researched the hell out of it, learned all I could about it and then figured out what I needed to do to control that thing, or change that thing so it could be better. I don't sit and wait for my Pdoc to fix the problem, I tend to do it myself and then he has input and we discuss if something needs to change. He also does my therapy. I don't use Therapists/Psychologists because I have the same credentials and tend to know more about the disease and my own issues than they do and it just turns into a whole "who's going to outshrink who" thing.

I've been BiPolar for 28 years, so I know my Triggers pretty well. I also know when certain people don't bring the best out in me, or aggravate my BiPolar brain, so I discontinue associating with them, if they don't like it, too bad, my mental health is my first priority.

I work to keep my active brain happy, but only part time. I volunteer to keep my self happy and to help teens and young adults have an easier time with their mental illnesses. I garden to keep my soul happy and have a place to destress and relax at the end of each day.

I'm not a big people person, I don't need a lot of people in my life. I have my sons, 2 very close friends and my S.O. and I'm good with that. I live in a very small town out in the country so of course we "know" the grocers and feedstore folks, and plantstore folks and the gas station guys....by association. But I don't need a lot of friends or family crawling all around my home or wanting me to go out and do things all the time...at this stage in my life, I chose not to have those types of relationships.

Great thread. I wish everyone not bipolar understood how much we all lose to the disorder and how hard it is. Maybe they would go easier on us.

For me, time. Sadly and so damn frustratingly, time passing is the only thing I've noticed to "distance" myself from the pain of what I have lost to bipolar. And it hasnt really helped that much yet.

My manic episode took everything away from me. On the surface, it doesnt seem like I've lost that much. My husband forgave me, I didnt lose my job, my kids didnt get taken away. I didnt end up in jail or in the hospital. I havent seen 2 of my best friends in almost a year, I just cant face them. Alot of acquaintance-type friends dont like me or even hate me and alot more people would hate me if all my secrets were exposed. I'm always waiting for the whispers or threats; the proverbial other shoe to drop. But mostly so far because of all of this, I've lost my sense of peace, self respect and alot of the time my strength to continue life. Every day is a battle and I am so tired.

My anxiety is so ridiculously high, but I have to just keep going. And so do you.

((Hugs)) as you try to work through this and the many challenges of bipolar disorder. It's so unfair.

It has been at least 6 years since I had friends or was in contact with anyone other than my doc, boyfriend, and mom. Recently an old friend I grew up with died unexpectedly. I wasn't able to go to his memorial because my boyfriend's father died at the same time, and I had to be with him for emotional support. I tried to reach out to a couple of our other "old school friends" by sending cards in the mail. (I don't even have anyone's email or phone numbers anymore.) I didn't get any responses. I haven't been able to stop thinking about it. Not being in close friendships with someone like me is one thing, but all of the special occasions like holidays, landmark birthdays, graduations, reunions, etc. that I don't get to participate in- there is no place for me. It makes me feel worthless, like there is nothing of value in knowing me. Lonely doesn't even begin to describe how I feel, and I just can't get past it.

I understand how you feel. I’ve lost many friends due to bipolar. People just can’t relate and can be very judgmental. I mostly keep to myself now after being burned so many times. So it’s all surface stuff with other people. I have superficial relationships I maintain with the parents of my children’s Friends out of necessity, But that’s it. I trust no one except select family members and one or two friends who I’ve met here, It’s unfortunate. I do have a dear phone buddy I met on here who is my best friend. We talk almost every day and I don’t know what I would do without her friendship, love, and understanding of what I go through battling this dx, There is nothing that compares in my opinion to having someone who “gets it” from first hand experience. I’m so sorry you are feeling alone. It’s the worst. I can feel alone in a room full of people. I hope you keep reaching out here on DS. We are here for you. Hugs.

I also have nightmares about my losses. Mostly about old jobs that stressed me to the breaking point. I get through it by remembering why those people and jobs are no longer a part of my life. I’m better off surrounded mostly by people who “get me”. It gets my anxiety up just thinking about it. But we’re better off with people who WANT to be in our lives, right?

I live a very quiet life now as well and quite honestly I'm happiest this way..... I have a lot of friendly acquaintances and a few good friends that I've had most of my life

I think I've reached a point that I'm not interested in 'trying to make things work' if they basically don't so I have no problem walking away from a toxic environment

One thing that I do have some really mixed feelings about was leaving my career a few years early

I was unwell and my memory was becoming badly effected …. I receive disability and for that I am truly thankful …. I just wish that I had been able to remain at my career for longer

I would try and be aware of how your mood is and have an exit strategy in place if you are feeling angry or agitated

I get like this sometimes and when I do I just say so if I'm with someone and will usually state that I'm not very good company and feel super wound up so I'm going to take off

There's nothing wrong with stating how you're feeling and then doing what you need to in order to care for yourself

I think that often relationships break down if people lash out at others and I try my best not to do that

Being cognisant of how we are acting and treating others is really a big key to not having relationships break down

What about joining a MeetUp or two??…. There are so many or a Bipolar Assoc?

I don't know if this is what people are talking about when they say they've lost relationships??

Also in regards to nightmares..... There are several psych meds that have nightmares and even night terrors as a side effect

Big hugs..... It can really suck at times.....xo

My original reason for joining this site was because of the relationship losses I have experienced. I have been so isolated that I have been constantly plagued with negative thoughts about myself and living the life I do. I don't see myself making new friends in the "outside" world because as a result of losing my friends and family I think that no one else would want to know me as well. This has become a primary source of angst to me, and I find the pain of it all unbearable to deal with.

when i was first diagnosed i was in a very intense depressive cycle. it lasted a long time - i alienated my friends and those i loved because i isolated myself. it was like there was this huge grey distance between me and everyone else and i just didn't have the energy or motivation to reach out across the distance. eventually, people stopped reaching back. i was abandonned by all but my closest friend and my family. it took years for me to learn how to navigate social situations again, to remember how to make friends, to want to come out of isolation. i found that support groups (online groups) were the best place for me to try to start reaching out, try to start feeling again, try to start conversations and being interested in people. i've made friends here that i love dearly and their love and support have seen me through the ups and downs of this disorder as well as making it easier for me to address/speak about my issues with people physically in my life. i'd say to have patience with yourself and work on forgiving yourself for your part in the losses you've suffered. you've been ill/you are dealing with a lifelong illness - you need to show yourself the compassion you'd offer to someone else. and when you're ready, start reaching out across that grey distance. you're worth knowing. there's no one else like you. you have something to offer. learn to value yourself and keep in mind that when you do reach out you're offering the gift of self.