Bipolar Disorder Support Group
Bipolar disorder is not just a single disorder, but a category of mood disorders marked by periods of abnormally high energy and euphoria, often accompanied by bouts of clinical depression. This is the place to talk about your experience with bipolar disorder, learn from others' experiences, and find support.
Anyone else do it every time they think there is a change of a relationship?
Even when I pursue someone, all the sudden "Wait...she might be interesting in me? I am not good enough...she doesn't know me...she wouldn't like the real me...I am imagining it..."
I then employ countermeasures. Let's just casually mention my flaws more often. Still there? Crap! Act less interested? Still There? really?! I...am just not in a good place to be in a relationship because a bad person/family/work/etc problem just blew up. Gone? Okay good because that would have ended badly :(
I haven't gone on a date since March of last year and haven't been on a second date in almost 10 years. Sometimes because I end it pre-emptively, almost every other time it goes great and then I never hear from here again which encourages me to avoid all attempts to date. My late date and I got along great (I thought) and after we ate she asked me to go with her to get coffee and hang out a while longer. After she mentioned what she would like to do for our second and when would be best (a few days later), I left feeling pretty well and thought maybe I had been previously too hard on myself. When I called her a day or two before it to set up the exact when and where, she said she was pretty busy at the moment and would call later or the next day. That was the last time we spoke.
I don't fear commitment; I fear no one would wants it from me. I was once told, I would be a good husband someday ("in the distant future" was insinuated.)
Even when I pursue someone, all the sudden "Wait...she might be interesting in me? I am not good enough...she doesn't know me...she wouldn't like the real me...I am imagining it..."
I then employ countermeasures. Let's just casually mention my flaws more often. Still there? Crap! Act less interested? Still There? really?! I...am just not in a good place to be in a relationship because a bad person/family/work/etc problem just blew up. Gone? Okay good because that would have ended badly :(
I haven't gone on a date since March of last year and haven't been on a second date in almost 10 years. Sometimes because I end it pre-emptively, almost every other time it goes great and then I never hear from here again which encourages me to avoid all attempts to date. My late date and I got along great (I thought) and after we ate she asked me to go with her to get coffee and hang out a while longer. After she mentioned what she would like to do for our second and when would be best (a few days later), I left feeling pretty well and thought maybe I had been previously too hard on myself. When I called her a day or two before it to set up the exact when and where, she said she was pretty busy at the moment and would call later or the next day. That was the last time we spoke.
I don't fear commitment; I fear no one would wants it from me. I was once told, I would be a good husband someday ("in the distant future" was insinuated.)
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Hey All...I hope that you have a lovely, peaceful beginning of your weekI have a bunch of chores that need doing but may put them off til tomorrow and just hang out with my landlord/roomie todayWhat about you?...Anything special going on?Have a great day and take good care of you!!..Xo
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Once again I've had a fever today. I'm not going to the hospital because that's a huge waste of time but I did schedule a dr appointment for Wednesday afternoon.
I know if they do or say anything way off base i get very defiant and tend to over drink because i am not taking them home anyway and then blow any chances of them coming around again. I know i push people away, but there is always a reason...for instance..taking things i say and do and turning them into insults against themselves ie..I yawn, he says, oh i am boring you. No youre not boring me..my brain just needs oxygen. or the guy who hasnt gotten over his ex and talks about her constantly.. DRINK and keep em coming. I am already very socially awkward and nervous, so if any of these "RED" flags come up then i drink a lot, because i cant very often..no drinking and driving, ya know. so they become my vehicle for self inflicted fun and i ruin any chance of hearing from them again..which has been thus far working out for me. and the two examples above happened last month.
I am ready to date. When i go out with someone new..i leave behind my own past. its all just up to having a good time. I also have a bit of a hard time socializing properly, so i am reading online..tips for socializing and putting out my best self. i think that is helping a lot with my self esteem, just last night, i noticed i engaged the people i was with more than i normally would.
I am ready to meet someone, but i know i havent met the person i want to be with for the long haul. I get upset after a shit date 'i will never meet that person' i think..and at this point i go out with the thought that this could be the one for all of them, which is the wrong way to go about it..but i do, so when they flip the switch, i am done..immediately.
good luck on the dating front..its full of mystery :)
Best of luck though - better to meet people when you're regular ol' you! :D