This board is getting like war and terrorism. Maybe these sorts of things belong in "vent"?

I'm firmly in the camp of everything someone says who is BP will automatically be on topic but these threads which seem to contain so many potential arguments because it covers so much ground rape, blame, male sexuality,GOP and even burkas. I've no idea where the idea that in cultures where women have their breast's exposed there is no rape came from either.

Sure Wieder, I agree absolutely that he wanted to control me. He DID control me. No question about that.

I won't say much more as Fish is getting stressed.

This is very much related to my bipolar but I will say no more than this.

My bipolar is the reason I didn't press charges as I knew his defence lawyer would throw it in my face saying I was an unreliable witness or delusional or hypersexual or some such crap. The trauma sent me to seek help from the mental hospital but they were useless.

Boils my blood that he got away with it and he was so practiced and fast that I am sure he had done it before and would do it again. Not much I can do about that.

Stressed? - definately not.

More like that I've seen these things get out of hand many times and we seem to have had a series of threads recently that seem to have generated more heat than light - so it's a gentle suggestion that the next thread of this ilk is perhaps not on the main board?

Bear in mind it's only a suggestion.

Its about controll for most . As far as clothing gose i dont care if you walked down the street naked none has the rigth to use another preson. i have been threw it twice fiest one more than one guy was involved 2 you could see his fingerprints on my neck and he threated to kill my sleeping children.A decent man would offer her somthing to cover herself. its just not woman get raped children and men too.hugs minnie

And just for the record thanks for the sorrys but truly no need for it - I know the world is not even close to being a cosy little nook in space and what happened is what it is and I have option to take on the victim role but naw I choose that of survivor All is good

Rape is about control & getting whatever a person wants irregardless what another wants.

Are we forgetting males get raped too, yes by other males, and by females.. I am extremely close to a male rape victim. People tend to forget about them.

As for the clothes argument, like I said if a person prances around practically nude they will attract attention moreso than a person who is dressed extremely modestly. As humans it is just biology since (most) males are attracted to the naked female form (and some females etc), but regular men (& women) do not run around raping women (or men) no matter what amount of clothing they do or do not wear..

To blame the 11 year old child for a gang rape is insane. If the woman/politician in the article wanted to say they needed uniforms she did not need to bring that up. It was in very bad taste.

No Channel I very well know that males are the victims many times. When I was in DV shelter for the 25th time due to fuck wad sperm donor there was male on the 1st floor that was a domestic violence survivor - It saddened me but it also made me feel good that he was brave enough to step forward because so many men are not

Oh I didn't think you literally did :-P It was kind of open ended, like a reminder of sorts for everyone.. Yes most men do not come forward. The person I know never did. I am one of the only people who know.

Um wow not that I care about thread control but....
this wasn't totally what I had intended for it..

the main reason I started it was very simple I think people blaming the rape victim are just excusing the rapist, Blaming the victim and giving future rapist's are reason to target women based on what they are wearing. I know that is an old fashion way of thinking my own mother thinks that way because that is what she was told.

I was appalled that a woman and a politician is now in the business of giving rapists future permission to rape, especially a poor 11 year old girl! And while true she blamed the parents for ...
oi where do I start with that one.....

No you can not blame parents for what children are wearing they will wear what ever the hell they want. I know plenty of girls who would dress one way and have clothes in their book bag and change once she got to school.

Also accurious perhaps I shouldn't have made that burka comment but my point was that even where woman are over modest (modest to the extreme) they still get raped an blamed for it, and in countries where we feel they are less modest (culturally they do not see it that way) and they are not blamed for the way they dressed as an excuse as to why they were raped. Because all the women are dressed the same. I in no way implied that they weren't still being raped! But if they are all walking around half naked and they aren't all being raped well then I guess we can conclude that men are not just animals who can't control them selves based on what a woman is wearing!

But yes men do get raped (and are violence abuse victims by women! but also by men) which is perhaps even more terrible because they are stigmatized for it. And even less men come forward about it then women do. I am not demeaning men here I am a lover men and feel they have been shit on and are the one last target that the media still feels they have a right to kick in the balls! I could go much further about how I feel men should be up lifted and how I know stories of men who were beaten with a base ball bat by his wife (and he could not defend him self because yes legally if you are man just trying to defend your self you can and WILL get charged for assault!) and the police were called and basically laughed at the man and still threatened to charge him! So yeah I have a little chip on my shoulder about that too fish!

But I only did not bring that up because while men don't get recognized for being victims in the first place, you don't really see men excusing the rapist because of what the man was wearing. All though I admit maybe it is worse because they get made fun of for being a rape victim, or accused of being gay if it happened to be by a woman.

but this is also a politician fillet I don't know, but you would think some one in a political position let a lone a woman would know better then to say something like that! I don't know what it is lately but these moronic politicians just constantly can't stop putting their own feet in their mouths! Its like an epidemic of stupidity and it scares me considering these are the same people running our country into the ground! How long has this been going on and it just wasn't making it into the news like it is now!? If any one else said something that stupid publicly they would be fired! Why aren't heads rolling?

I commented on the post on the link you gave us..
Rape is always about power and control.. not sexuality.. it's shameful.. victims are NEVER to blame!

ok, I wasn't going to comment and this is bound to be taken the wrong way - from what I understand here (currently that's Jacksonville, Florida) there has been a proposal to get children to wear uniform - something to do with school shootings. That sort of got silly because the older kids are going to be exempt, so it's just the younger ones that will have to wear uniform. I expect someone called them on that and they went scrabbling for shock reasons why the younger kids need to wear uniform.

I expect that while there was a tragic event at the bottom of this, I suspect this is possibly distorted several times by the media even before the politician tried to use it to bolster their own position.

Next time I'll check.

ok - it took 2 pages of google before I got to the story - the rest was all about the Florida politician.

Original story - yes, the girl was raped. The rapists and some of their families blamed it on the girl. Well they would wouldn't they?

The Florida politician IS trying to push through the requirement for school uniform here. She is using the testimony of the people arrested to support that.

It's a classic political move.

well I am aware that the media is not an innocent in any of this. The media is constantly looking for some one to throw under the bus! And their heads should also roll! The are suppose to be a source of information, not misinformation resulting in their own political slant.

Give me the news strait and up front! Their heads should role as well. I'm tired of the media but the twisting of the truth by the media needs to stop.

I can say though we do have uniforms where I live and it resulted in my having to buy even more clothes for my kids that I couldn't afford. Also if you have sloppy messy kids which I did you would find your self unable to buy then new uniforms mid school year because stores only carry them at the very beginning of the school year and that is it.

Other than that if you aren't going to make the high schoolers wear them then what is the fricking point? That is where all the violence gang wars, and immodest dressing takes place! And you are right fish some one should have drudged that up!

Politicians don't even get me started! their solutions are often unrealistic and has little or no real results. It's easy to slap a band aid on something just to make your self seem like you are doing something politically, other then getting over paid!

18 men??? that made me nausious to have the flash of that happening to that child. I dont care how she dressed or whos stinkin fault anyone thinks it is.........it is wrong on so many freakin levels.

I agree with Fish. I think she used this dramatic example to push her own agenda and it is sad. It actually made her look very ridiculous. She should be ashamed of herself because she certainly did not have to go that far. How difficult is it for the schools to have a dress code? Maybe my head is in the clouds but my kids have always gone to parochial school where there has always been a dress code. Do I think that prevented rape?..........NO!!!

Now all I can think of is that poor girl who will be scared for life. There is just too much to say here and if I keep going I wont stop.

My heart aches for all those who are victims of rape from any experience. My heart aches for them because I have experienced it myself with my incestuous uncle and a police officer who I trusted. God help us all!!!! xo

Either way fish

she I think criminals are not the ones we should be using to make our political moves. It's the same as excusing them not to mention drudging up bad memories for a girl who was just a victim. It's a double whammy for the poor victim. We need to start holding these idiots accountable for what they say, It's just them being deceitful as usual and people need to stop rolling over because a politician came own spewed typical political garbage at us! Politicians need to be accountable too not just the rapists.

But my heart goes out to a poor 11 year old girl, and I'm sorry but a group of men? no matter what the number but 18? If they weren't out looking to rape some one then what the hell were all 18 of them doing roaming around in the first place? And out of all 18 of them not a single one did think "Hey wait a minute here this isn't right?" not a single one? That is deplorable!