you are a very good mom and far from selfish. Sounds like you do whatever you can for your kids, you are all blessed to have each other! xxo

I felt much the same way, and worked the same way (with little to no appreciation expressed to me; just a little more of that, would have helped boost my energy level a great deal)....one thing I know now, that I didn't know then, was how severe my own mental problems were, or even what they were. I, just as you've said here, just felt I was lousy at what I did. Yet I knew I was working a great deal more than a lot of other moms I knew.

People who tell you to stop whining, making it all about you, etc. only see the surface....the descrepancy you know inside, is what makes you so angry, confused, low self esteem, etc. The reason for the descrepancy is what you need to find out and focus on. Keep searching for the help you need, so you don't have a melt down. That could have severe consequences concerning your children. Do you know someone who could help you with some baby sitting so you can have some time for yourself to recouperate?

you sound like a wonderful parent.. screw your friend. i suppose she doesnt have children and bp and children with bp. and if she was your friend she wouldnt be saying those things to you. she would be supporting. you.. i was a single mom and its the hardest job ever.. give yourself a pat on your back you are doing a wonderful job. and big hugs to you also...

You sound like a good mom, sorry to hear you are stressed. Big hugs! I have a few friends that are single mothers and I see what they do and it's a lot for ONE person to do. Kudos to you for hanging in there and fighting for your children. xo

When we decide to have children, we take on every responsibility that goes with it. We wear every "hat" that goes with raising children.

We get a break from our nine to five job - we don't get a break from our children. It is hard, but it is also rewarding.

You sound like you kick ass to me...i mean what a handful you have to deal with...some people just don't understand...all I can say is...you go girl...thats amazzing what you do and I think you need to hear that from someone!!

When I was growing up I knew that I would not make a good 24/7 mom. I didn't have the desire and consequently didn't have kids. Don't get me wrong, I love children as long as they belong to someone else and I can send them home. But to some people I am the selfish one. I didn't have children and give of myself in that way. You are a great Mom. You have struggled with things that a lot of Moms don't have to struggle with. And you have done well. If nothing else, you deserve a pat on the back for a job well done. And whoever told you that you think too much of yourself needs to spend a day in your shoes.

sound like your kids are the center and taking care of them is a great feet i know it sucks but it is the right thing to do if you could get a baby sitter and get out maybe a friend or family member so you do have to pay i would explain the stress and the need for a day away try to keep a clear head because if you are show sign of fratgige then they will notice this may be more on your plate but i think you never get more then you can handle

Hi Hanna,

Please go back and read your journal from March 8th. That's the one where you wrote about your children and how much you know their likes and dislikes and how much you are proud of them. The love you feel for them is obvious. It proves that you are not the center of your own universe.

You are doing so much that I can't even comprehend. Every day sounds like a struggle, and you are doing it all. Daily cleaning, getting the children to school, making sure they get there homework done, cooking . . . these are so much to accomplish for anyone - much less someone who is a single mom and has bipolar.

I agree w/ lots of the others on this post, it would be so beneficial if you could find time for yourself. Is it possible to have the children help w/ housework? They may resist at first, but it might eventually help them feel a sense of pride to have their own responsibilities and also they would see they are helping their mother. That may make them feel good. Just something to think about.

When you question the job you are doing or feel self loathing, try to remember it is one of the biggest symptoms of clinical depression. I don't know how to stop these hateful feelings myself - I just constantly tell myself that they will pass. It gives me hope to know that depressed thoughts are not permanent.

You deserve more credit than you will ever know!!!

Hannah- it sounds like you are exhausted and stressed out (very normal for being a parent!) but that you are doing a really good job at being the best you can for you kids. Being a parent is hard work and especially a single parent. The spell i was a single mom sucked balls big time! I especially can't imagine doing that with more than one kid. And RAD? That is not any easy thing to deal with....so kudos to you! You're doing great.

I'm sorry your friend said what she did. It was very insensitive. I do not think it makes us selfish to want a break once in awhile when life gets to be too much. Much love! Hang in there!
Skye