Bipolar Disorder Support Group

Bipolar disorder is not just a single disorder, but a category of mood disorders marked by periods of abnormally high energy and euphoria, often accompanied by bouts of clinical depression. This is the place to talk about your experience with bipolar disorder, learn from others' experiences, and find support.

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Please Help Me Figure This Out...

SerenitySeeker14
SerenitySeeker14
I have suffered from depression and anxiety for several years but my doctor has (more than once) told me I am not bipolar; however, I just can't seem to make sense of my "mood swings". Various medications have helped at various times in my life, but nothing has been permanent. Either the medications stop working or the side-effects outweigh the benefits. According to everything I have read, I experience all of the depression symptoms of bipolar disorder except for suicidal thoughts; however, I am unclear on whether I am experiencing mania symptoms because the symptoms I do have are few/mild. From what I have read, below are the only mania symptoms I experience:

- Feeling unusually high and optimistic (this doesn't happen very often nor does it ever last very long) OR extremely irritable (I always assumed this was just anxiety)
- Talking so rapidly that others cant keep up (this happens during my unusual "high")
- Racing thoughts; jumping quickly from one idea to the next (this happens CONSTANTLY! I can't focus and feel like I can't accomplish anything because of this)
- Highly distractible, unable to concentrate (often)

Any input/opinions/suggests/etc. would be very appreciated!! Thank you to everybody who has taken time to read and/or respond to this!
JennS
JennS
I'm very sorry you're experiencing this. If you haven't already, you'll probably want to get second opinion from a mental health professional. They will have the knowledge on what is bipolar and what isn't.
Do your depression spells happen around that same time of year? If they do them you may be reacting to an anniversary date to a time when some traumatic happened to you.
best wishes.
SerenitySeeker14
SerenitySeeker14
Thank you for your response! My depressive spell is continuous with 2 or 3 days of feeling "ok" or "good" each week. Maybe once a week I'll feel like I'm "on top of the world" but don't have any idea why I am suddenly feeling that way.

I have recently discovered that I am co-dependent and am currently trying work my way through that. Right now, I just feel overwhelmed by my feelings as well as trying to figure out what is causing/triggering what.
SerenitySeeker14
SerenitySeeker14
Thank you, MissSunshyne! May I ask what your symptoms are like (you, too, JennS, if you don't mind)? I've just found there is a disorder called Cyclothymia, which is like bipolar but much less extreme. I guess, honestly, I don't really care WHAT it is, I just know that something isn't right. What I feel and the changes I experience aren't "normal", as in, most people I know don't experience such constant and dramatic changes.
Community Leaderacuriousfish
acuriousfish
could be a number of things. Hormonal, ADHD, Bipolar.

It seems you have discussed the possibility of bipolar with your doctor several times for him to say several times that you are not - unless he's siad that spontaneously.

Did you ask him why he discounts bipolar?
SerenitySeeker14
SerenitySeeker14
@ acuriousfish - Yes, it could be a number of things, which is what is the most frustrating part of it all, especially since there is no cut and dry way of determining exactly what it is. As far as hormonal - I am on a hormone replacement patch because I lost my ovaries to cancer. I have taken ADD medicine before for chronic fatigue and it did help me focus. I also know that diet and exercise (or lack thereof) can also play a major role in one's emotions. Trying to narrow it down or figure it out is SO mentally exhausting to me! Plus, I HATE having to taken SO MANY medications! But, maybe that is solution. I was on Depakote for headaches and noticed a slight balance of mood, so I am going to discuss that with my doctor this Friday and see what she thinks about increasing the dose to see if it helps my mood.
As far as her dismissing it, she has never given me a reason. I will make a comment about feeling like or thinking I may be bipolar and she will just comment that I am not, and I've never pursued it further. I will this time, though.

Thank you for your input!
Community LeaderSunCloudJD
SunCloudJD
Have you been assessed by a psychiatrist Serenity?
SerenitySeeker14
SerenitySeeker14
Not in several years. That would probably be a good idea.
GildedLily
GildedLily
As others have said, a bipolar diagnosis is not always cut and dry. I was diagnosed with depression first and then manic depressive with many other diagnosis' along the way.

First, you should rule out something physical going on with you, like blood sugar fluctuations, infections, or just a general check up. Then, I would work on treating each symptom without giving it a name. (Bipolar). A good psychiatrist will give you a screening for the second part.

I hope you get some relief soon. Most of us have been through the uncertainty but still we strive for stability.
SerenitySeeker14
SerenitySeeker14
Thank you, GildedLily :) Now that I've "talked" about it, I'm in an amazing mood (even giddy), as opposed to the I-don't-want-to-do-this-anymore mood I was in this morning. It is these fluctuations that drive me crazy, lol.
spacepony
spacepony
Cyclothymia is a bitch and harder to diagnosis (imo). Yeah, see a psychiatrist (or two), and hang in there :)
irishwriter
irishwriter
the most important thing to do first is to see a psyshiatrist or maybe even two if possible? although it does take a while to diagnose bipolar, a GP is not always in a position to do so. best of luck with it.
Community LeaderSunCloudJD
SunCloudJD
I agree with asking your GP for a psychiatric referral... It's what they specialize in and within that specialty medication is what they do so you'll get appropriate medication for the symptoms you're presenting with..x
Suninbloom
Suninbloom
I've had both my ovaries removed also - and in that time frame I developed bipolar disorder which I think is directly related to having them removed. Depression or anxiety, memory loss.. and other symptoms occur when the ovaries are removed.
SerenitySeeker14
SerenitySeeker14
Thanks, everybody!

The hormonal imbalance issue is a b****, too! How in the world am I supposed to know exactly what is being thrown off balance and to what extent? Plus, you're not really supposed to be on the hormone patch for more than 5 years...I'm going on 5 and I'm only 31! I went without it for a couple of years but the hot flashes eventually became unbearable, lol.

I know seeing a psychiatrist (or two) would help, but I get so frustrated with the "trial and error" of figuring it all out and I really can't afford it, either. But, I guess I need to suck it up and do what I need to do.

Btw, i feel great today - even giddy! I found a website called Happify.com that provides tasks for improving your thinking. One of the tasks was a game like Angry Birds and I got to sling-shot boulders at my worries (I got to pick and add these myself) and got points for knocking them down. I won't lie, it was fun!! Lol. I hope everybody is having a good day today!
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