First, do get off the benzodiazepines. It isn’t that hard. You just cut down 1/4 if a pill every 2 weeks, till there is nothing left. I found I had no anxiety once I got off, which is actually a paradoxical reaction to these drugs like clonazepam. It even says this in the doctor manuals. Make it a request for this new pdoc to help you get off.

Sorry you are depressed and low. I hope this new pdoc helps. It seems to me a lot of these pdoc don’t know anything except to hand out greater numbers of pills to people. My mom has a slight depression. She is 89, and should not be on any of them. She is actually on 3 or 4 times the number of meds I am on, with bipolar 1. My mom complains of memory issues, but she is sharp, once these meds get out of her system. Who wouldn’t have cognitive issues if they were being drugged to death by their pdoc? Oh yes, my brother has overlapping Perdinality Disorders. He is on high doses of Seroquel gained hundreds of pounds and he is not in any way, shape or form psychotic!

Not that I am criticizing anyone who has found a good combo that keeps them stable. Just overprescribing pdocs that make me angry!.

I don't think you have to feel any way other than the way you do feel and I admired how you stated your feelings with such clarity. I have noticed in myself a kind of deadness in the way I feel in the morning. I think it's because I'm only on 10 mg of the anti-depressant citalopram. I would like to have that raised. But at the same time I am worried that my irritability and flareups which still are not in anyway curbed would become even more agitated if I increase my antidepressant.

I hope that you have a good appt..... I really liked Lamictal…. I hope that it works well for you.... Big hug.....xo

Anti-Psychotics like Seroquel are used to treat disorders like Schizophrenia and Multi-personality Disorders, it doesn't have anything to do with the person being Psychotic.

I was on Seroquel and I picked up weight as per the side effects but I was so unhappy with the weight as I have always been weight conscious that I came of the Seroquel. My last Pdoc prescribed me every med under the sun and I used to take about 8 pills a day sometimes and I am sure they all interacted with each other and cancelled each other out so I felt no better. I came off all the med completely because I felt over-medicated.

Then I felt anxious and depressed and he said to me that all he can give me is that Seroquel again. I couldn't accept that as I can't deal with the weight gain. It made me depressed at the same time as being balanced and weighing up the pros and cons, I decided to go to another Pdoc for another opinion.

So suffering with anxiety and depression now, I went to a new Pdoc that put me on Lamactil (which I had been on all along but only at a low dosage). I always believed in this med as I had done my research but my last Pdoc said it was no good. My new Pdoc says it just needed to be at a higher level.

Then she heard about the sleeping tabs and the anxiety benzos that my last Pdoc gave me and was horrified. She is trying to get me off them and whilst I am on Xanax and she is keeping me on for a month more, she has only given me 10 x Ativans for a month. I am not allowed to take Pax, my other anti-anxiety tab like sweeties whenever I felt anxious. Like Marlene, I did feel a little less anxious with less anxiety meds.

But I am still depressed and she said that to treat BP depression, we have to up the mood stabiliser. Of course this is over a period of time at 25mg a week. I have two more months to go to reach the level that she wants me to be at. This she told me yesterday at the appointment that I was freaking out about. And I was sooooo disappointed that I could not get anything more immediate for my depression. I am tired of feeling sad everyday.

My husband works every night and we don't see each other and all of this feels like it has all come on at the wrong time as I am depressed and alone and to think that it might last for another month or two until the Lamactil is at the right level. I felt so defeated.

I did all of my relaxation techniques when I got back from the doc - meditate, wrote in my book, read my affirmations and relooked my higher power beliefs etc. just to feel better and calm down.

I know it will get better day by day but I am not a patient person and I do not have many friends to keep me company. Luckily my Mum has been very supportive and has been Whatsapp calling me every night.

Pdoc wants to work with Tdoc as she said that I may have unrealistic expectations of the meds and that considering my traumatic history, there are a lot of mind issues to resolve and work with as well. I am happy that they are teaming up and tackling this together.

Psychotherapy, CBT and DBT are sooooo hard. It is like teaching all dogs new tricks. When we are older, it is so much harder to change your mind and thinking and we tend to relapse to our default ways of thinking and feeling. I am depressed at the moment and my default is sadness, hurt and negativity. So hard to make myself feel better using the techniques but I am working hard at it.

So, disappointed but I trust my new Pdoc. I will just soldier on through this depression that should lessen each day. They say take one day at a time but who hasn't heard that? All I see are weeks of crying. So hard to think differently. But this too shall pass right? I can only hope....

Sorry guys, I have verbal diarrhea!

Personally I like Information.

So you're still on 2 Benzo's Ativan and Xanax. I'm not sure what your referring to as Pax, couldn't figure that one out.

I'm not sure why your Pdoc is taking the Lamictal so slow, its not the standard titrate dosage. If Lamictal is the only med your taking, 25mg increases is for the first 2 weeks, then you can go 50 - 100mg increase starting week 3.

There's nothing wrong with taking a Benzo if you need it. Many BiPolars have a Benzo in there Cocktail because they need it. I take Klonopin, Topamax, Tegretol, and Lexapro. Not everyone is the same and "Benzo's" are not the evil drug, lol. It sounds like your old Pdoc was a bit Benzo happy if you were on 2 or 3, that's taking it a bit far.

I would ask your Pdoc why she's going so slow on the Lamictal increase when you've used it before and it's indicated to go higher if not on other Mood Stabilizers. Seems kind of ridiculous to make you suffer with depression for no reason.

Take care,
Kat

Hi Kat,

I didn't know that you could increase the Lamactil at a faster rate. I shall definitely ask the Pdoc about that!

I want it at the higher level so hopefully my depression will go and the anxiety too then I won't need the benzos. She is taking my benzos and sleeping tabs away from me next month.

Thanks so much!