I just had a terrible experience. I am so upset. I worked downtown tonight at a mansion and was a server at a great very rich party. I had espresso at around 9:30. After work I wanted to go out and get a beer. I texted my friend but nada. I went to the bar anyway told her I was there. I sat at the bar and had a great conversation with an older man. He was nice, and nerdy. We talked for a while. Then my friend showed up and I said hello. She was with friends so we didn't chat long. I went back to the bar to sit down. There was a young gentleman standing in front of where I was sitting ordering a drink at the bar. He smiled at me and told me he wanted to buy me a drink. This was so unexpected and he was young and good looking enough, so I accepted dissing the older man next to me. As soon as we started talking and introduced ourselves we recognized each other but we didn't know from where. We danced. He gave me lots of attention and told me I was so cute and that I had beautiful brown eyes. Maybe I thought it was strange in the back of my head but I ignored it. It was then that I realized how I know him. HE RAPED ME SOMETIME AROUND LAST YEAR! Sometime when I was unstable with my illness last year I felt fearless and went to a bar alone. I drank and accepted drinks from strangers. That's when met him... Kevin... he was aggressive that night and I was very drunk. When I realized I couldn't drive home at the end of the night he offered a couch for me to sleep on at his apartment across the street. I wasn't sure at first, then he assured me and said, "Don't worry I don't want to have sex with you." But as soon as we got into his apartment (that he shared with friends) he told me to take off my pants, now. So he raped me all night told me what to do. I was destroyed. NOW. THIS STUPID FUCKER TRIES TO DO IT AGAIN A YEAR LATER. When I realized I told him I had to go to the bathroom. When I got back he told me he ruffied it and then laughed and said he was kidding...or maybe he said that before I went to the bathroom. I got back feeling panicked and scared. I thought, oh my gosh what do I say? Should I keep dancing? I told him I had to go and that I got my period. He was dissapointed but I said thanks for the drink and left. Driving home I was in shock. It was silent, no radio this ride home. I parked in front of my house and stared out. I started crying hysterically and heaving and moaning I was so scared and in so much pain. I texted my friend Ryanna who I met at the bar and told her what happened. Then I told her I was really upset and she said she "can't talk right now" but to drink some water and breathe. Now here I am writing to you whoever you are. I haven't been on this site in months maybe 7 or 8.... but I need you just to listen. I need to tell this to SOMEBODY?!?!?

Thanks.