finally made it through disability and after 30 yrs am now officially considered retired nothing has changed money same benefits same except now they consider me retired i do not know if i have to see a doctor not that i would stop but it is no longer hanging over my head take meds see doctor every month now i see doctor every 2 months and they give me refills in case i miss a visit for some reason also been 25 years since my last suicide attempt and my last hospitilization i have worked on that all by myself with help from the doctor no therapy whch is why i am wondering if i need therapy now or if i can control this myself i am doing a great job i think only thing is the money spending and that has slowed down a little i read everything i can the doctor said if i have to buy something just to spend money to keep receipt and return it later makes sense if i keep receipt tend to throw them around but with a little discipline i can do this managed to keep enough to lend my brother money and buy dinner out crafts slowed down a lot that was hard buit doing it i am proud of myself