ohh and I am looking for more friends if you want to add me..I pplan on being around more than I have been

That's the problem with choices, we have to live with the consequences. Be good to yourself.

I am just a dumbass, my meds are cheap no excuse for it..Today I am on the nicotine patch, i can do it but i still want one and feeling manic still. couple more days i will be good.

Okay this is probably not the kind of advice I need to be giving, but this is me trying to help you.

Have you ever tried the roll your own cigarettes? My husband does that and I tried one. They are really good - really fresh tasting - really cheap. That way, you could have your meds and your cigs.

not about being poor....it's about making poor choices....

My, what a supportive, empathetic comment that last one was.

Chris, I disagree. You are not in my opinion "just a dumbass". I am not saying you don't believe that for I am sure you do. What I am saying is that this statement reflects a delusional view of yourself. The more you keep talking to and about yourself like this the deeper will be the pit of depression. I saw you reach out kindly to someone recently. Losers don't truly care enough to offer kind and supportive and empathetic comments. I see a true and good heart in you and I am not going to act like your 2nd grade teacher and rub your failure in your face. Learn and move on. That is all we can do. Personally I wrote the book on making decisions I later regret and have a proven ability to get lost crossing the street so don't feel like the lone ranger.

Thanks Steve,,,I do feel dumb spending alot of money when I am on limited funds...I am on the patch again and believe I can stop smoking again. I stoppped for two yearts..Still havnt got my abilify yet but I feel pretty good considering

This is a post that Vickeybea put up a few years ago about finding help for healthcare and meds when things are rough... A lot of good info was added

Big hug for you Chris...x

http://www.dailystrength.org/c/Bipolar_Disorder/advice/8224882-advice-link-free-health/page-14

I did this last month, chose to buy alcohol over my meds, at least pay day is tomorrow but its been super rough, & ive been kicking myself in the ass for it all month. Hugs

Quitting smoking is one of the hardest things to do. I can understand how you made that decision to buy cigarettes over your abilify. I'm glad you have decided to quit again and are using the patch. I wish you luck and hope you do okay until you can get your medicine.