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Ocd boyfriend troubles

Braveredhead
Braveredhead

My boyfriend, I think, is ocd.  His mom said she thinks so and I have noticed it. It is extremely hard to live with him. He won't take medicine or see a therapist.  I don't know how to get him help. He won't even realize he might have it.  I don't know what to do. I am younger and I am trying to manage my illnesses.  He is a lot older and he isn't doing anything about it.  I know they didn't have much help for it like they do now, but why didn't his mom do something about it before now?  I don't know what I should do.  I told him I was throwing away some molded worms from the fridge. He said no they'll smell. I said would u take the trash out. No he won't. So I do it.  And I am burning up in here so I opened the windows. Every time I open the windows he gets so mad.  So I hear him cussing me in the bedroom. He rolls over mad going to sleep. I just told him it's not good to go to bed mad. It's so much more than the windows.  I want to tell him he needs help for his ocd, bc I can't live this way anymore.  I just want him to get help. Any advice?

Community Leaderacuriousfish
acuriousfish
You've said several times you think you should leave him. Do you mind if I ask how old you are? You say he is alot older, how old?
Community LeaderSunCloudJD
SunCloudJD
I wondered about the ages as well sweetie.... If he doesn't want any help there's nothing that you can do however you can do what you need to in order to help yourself be well and stay well.... xo
Jenniferswe
Jenniferswe
Fish and Sun have good points. I would like to suggest an intervention for your boyfriend might help. Hugs.
Braveredhead
Braveredhead
He's 19 yrs older
MayB
MayB
Love yourself hon and find self compassion....before you make any further moves.
Community Leaderacuriousfish
acuriousfish
ok, do you want to say how old you are? My take is that men at a point tend to not change so much..if he's 50-60 I think that might be it so you would need to ask yourself if you want this for the next 20-30 years. If he's younger maybe he can change.
arfie
arfie
When somebody I love won't take my advice and, "Get help," I take my own advice and get help for myself. My co-dependency issues are becoming unmanageable again. I take as much space as needed (detachment) from the person who is triggering those issues. I doesn't need to play out the Toxic People Dump Drama. I only detach far enough to know where their strictly personals end and mine begin. I study my "Live and Let Live" lessons.

But that is me. . .

Gentle support while you find what works for you, Bravered.
mlr0853
mlr0853
Brave, the only person you can help or change is yourself, unless the other person is ready to see "the truth'.
Your life seems to be in a state of turmoil from one day to the next, must be very painful to live in such uncertainty.
If you want help, you'll need to find your own way and make tough decisions in order to find peace.
I come from a place of codependency, learned how to get past it by going to Al-anon...it's free.
Sometimes what one wants, or what one thinks they need to have, is hurtful to their mental health and their recovery.
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