Bipolar Disorder Support Group
Bipolar disorder is not just a single disorder, but a category of mood disorders marked by periods of abnormally high energy and euphoria, often accompanied by bouts of clinical depression. This is the place to talk about your experience with bipolar disorder, learn from others' experiences, and find support.
I've been out of the hospital for a week, and my symptoms are becoming unbearable again. I've been hearing voices for the past 2 days, telling me I'm worthless and to cut myself. It's not that I really want to cut myself, but who wants to listen to a Greek chorus prattle on in their head all day? I try doing things to distract myself - I love to read, and the Internet has opened up a whole new world for me, including groups like this one. I always loved to walk, but of course in this part of the country the weather has been crappy.
So here's where we stand: I saw my new therapist today, my second appointment with him. He knows I'm living in hell, and I told him everything I just told you. I have an appointment with a new pdoc tomorrow, and the tdoc urged me to keep that.
Another thing is where I live. I'm desperately unhappy here (personal care home), but I don't know what to do.I'm even sick of hearing myself talk about it.
The tears on my emoticon are only figurative - I haven't had a good, soul-cleansing cry for months - but real enough. My sister, Charlene (not her real name) knows me better than anyone, and she knows I'm a mess. I asked her if she'd be upset if the pdoc decided to put me in hospital, and she said no.
One thing I should mention about my "home" - the staff all violate HIPAA all the time. Whenever I've been in hospital, and I see someone I know, I never blab to anyone here about it. But there's no privacy here. I spend most of my time in my room, surfing the Net or reading. They can even hear me walking around upstairs. And the rent is ridiculous.
Char suggested finding another personal care home, and there are a lot of them in this area. I'm worried about moving again after a long time (almost 9 years).
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Hey All...I hope that you have a lovely, peaceful beginning of your weekI have a bunch of chores that need doing but may put them off til tomorrow and just hang out with my landlord/roomie todayWhat about you?...Anything special going on?Have a great day and take good care of you!!..Xo
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Once again I've had a fever today. I'm not going to the hospital because that's a huge waste of time but I did schedule a dr appointment for Wednesday afternoon.
She increased my Zyprexa, which I understand is an antipsychotic. I take Ativan, Zyprexa, Clozaril, Lamictal and Celexa. I pray this tweak works.
My last hospital 'vacation' I was in for 4 days, then went back for another 7 days...so much crap involved with insurance companies and fast tracking 'people out'. Back in the 80's, I stayed for a Month in 3 hospitals, being psychotic and manic until I got under control with meds.
As far as living, the thought scare Me of having to move when I read you wanted to move. Perhaps putting in applications to different locations of housing options could be a start...giving you some hope for change.
Also, Donavan videos on Youtube are upbeat and work well. Specifically, Mellow Yellow and Sunshine Superman. Joni Mitchell's Big Yellow Taxi and Both Sides Now are also big hits with the chorus. Of course, other songs may work better for you...
And, coloring in your favorite adult coloring book with artist grade colored pencils (ie, Polychromos) to Mozart often keeps even the meanest member of the chorus happy. You can find Polychromos online at Blick's or Amazon. They are worth every penny.
Also, falling asleep to the Rosary on youtube works. Some members of the Chorus would rather not listen to it and leave (hehehe). Or find a prayer from your faith, if this choice does not suit you.
Or fall asleep to an engaging story from Audibles. Again, they'd rather listen then bully. I recommend the Ramona Quimby series narrated by Stockard Channing. Audibles offers the entire set of books for one credit.
Of course, it depends on who makes up your Chorus. So tweek suggestions to taste.
All the best.