I understand it is not easy being Bipolar. I have gone through those ups and downs that you are talking about because I am Bipolar also but I am on the right medication now so I don't go up and down like I use to but I completely understand what it is like to feel the way you are feeling. You can talk to me anytime and send me a friend request if you would like to be my friend. I am here for you to offer you as much support and encouragement as I can. And if you want me to pray for you I can do that also.

I have lost most of my relationships/friends in real life. I've had a long journey to find the right combination of medications. It'll be lifelong.

I hear you on being up and down. I'm listening and you are welcome to send me a friend request if you want.

yes i apriciate you both for the replies and for understanding and prayers would always be welcome thanks and fireflywings send me a request

and art4life send me one to please

What you are experiencing is a Huge Case Of Expectations re: setting yourself up and then Beating Yourself To A Pulp If You Fall.

As for head chatter, I call this the never ending Hamster Wheel or The Broken Record Syndrome....just words going faster and faster around in my head with never stopping or the constant spin with no end insight.

As for friends...you're right, they 'don't get us' are afraid they might do or say the wrong thing...ya might want to give 'true friends' a book about understanding bipolar, especially hubby...

Next....grrrr.... I've no Place in my brain, and hope Your Brain will exit Left in thinking you or Anyone is "Super" Anything!!! Not!!!

I'd suggest to you to start a daily journal of your feelings, moods etc throughout the day for a month....or at least until you see some type of a pattern to help you deal with getting to the bathroom :)

I'm rapid cycle BP1, if I do too much one day, the next day I'm on the floor....bp comes in many different 'levels of disability' so one person's bp can be totally different from another's.

Another area you can explore is type in the 'name of your town' bipolar support groups....these groups are usually run by bp'ers and personally I found a great resource and Huge Benefit to my tendency towards isolation...

Keep Posting!! Welcome and I hope you'll get what will help you feel better about yourself and your life here on ds.

mlr0853...well as u said people have many different levels of bipolar and on my manic days..i do feel super like i can absolutely take on anything thrown at me ...as i said supermom/superwomanness....and not for nothinhg but just because it has no place in your brain it absolutely has a place in mines... its like never ending energy....on those days ...and i have done journals and diaries u name it ive done it ive tried all concoctions of meds and therapy...even done ect treatments so just because you dont feel super sometimes dosent mean im going to quote"exit left in thinking" me or anyone else is super....im just saying...look at the people in mexico as we speak i can truely say they are super ...taking all thier strenghth to help the ones buried under rubble.......so yeah and sometimes i do feel down and sad and mad and angry but i come here to post to maybe find people who feel the same...thanks!

You talk of what I have learnt from someone to call the cacophany, heh. The myriad of thoughts voices in my case [being a predominantly auditory thinker] with their accompanying feelings. There are some good recommendations from the cognitive behaviour therapy self-help course available here https://www.get.gg/ if you like for free no sign up download and it appears to be very comprehensive and soundly written. I work a little differently with my inner people rather than just challenging their unhelpful thinking styles using CBT and negotiate with them to achieve their positive goals in a less aggressive way than their unhelpful styles especially if they are critical, say for example labelling and judging me a fat pig! I dislike hearing the message but I get the positive intention for my health in this straightforward case, so I have asked the critic would she like to cooperate by helping me stay present when I eat and not binge and gulp my food down but consume it consciously and mindfully and much more slowly. She cooperates with this nearly all the time now and steps in to remind me to chew my food at least 20 times, but it seems to mostly dissapear not long after 10... lol. This is how I relate to the members of my internal family in a healthy way and gain their cooperation. It's rather neat, but everybody has their own answers to pursue, who really is to judge a method other than by if it works for them?

I'm a old fart married dad thats not a sleaze, and I'm not around as much nor am I as reliable a support or friend as many others because I have quite an issue with being very slow and indecisive about what I want to say so it takes me ages to type anything, but I'll send you a friend request because I can relate really strongly to just where you are at. No pressure to accept from a strange man really!

I'll finish by sharing a perspective... there is a middle ground between mania and depression that is ignored by the black and white thinking behind the classification bipolar. When not at the extremes the middle ground healthy capacities for peace or aliveness can become available to you, the two poles of more stable moods. Often this takes a combination of meds and therapy according to most of the helpful support I have seen here but equally as important for me has been some of the great friendships I have experienced at DS and still am. Just what you are seeking. People who understand you better than you have experienced to date. I found DS to be that place for me so I wish you the very best!

Moobs

@bip1027, In addition to some of the great advice already given here, I'd like to offer some perspective from a mom of a (now adult) daughter with bi-polar. Yes, people will desert and abandon you, because they don't understand and they take it personally. While you are in the process of getting the right combination of meds and therapuetic support, (everyone is so unique that way), be as gentle with yourself as you can, and know that you are valued and loved, and you can find a great deal of support here. I'm praying for your peace in this long journey.