Bipolar Disorder Support Group
Bipolar disorder is not just a single disorder, but a category of mood disorders marked by periods of abnormally high energy and euphoria, often accompanied by bouts of clinical depression. This is the place to talk about your experience with bipolar disorder, learn from others' experiences, and find support.
Hello, everyone this is my first time posting to a support groups regarding my bipolar disorder. A little background, i've been seeing therapists since I was 6 and a psychatrist since I was 13. From the beggining all of my dr's i've seen have leaned towards me being bipolar 1 but being under 18 they could not diagnose me and wanted to stay away from lithium and other mood stabilizers being so young. Fast forward to turning 18, my doctor diagnosed me and began me on all new medications, we where trying to get it under control before I moved off to college. Well about 4 months into college, I took to many of my pills and was sent to the hostpital for some time. I would get out and the same thing would happen, not taking the pills, but i would stop sleeping for months and was manic most times. I have been 3 times in the span of one year. I am 21 now, and I have managed to get my life back on the rails a little bit, but the last 3 months I have been rapid cycling, deppresed one second and having no energy to even take a shower or take care of myself or I am bouncing off the walls thinking I am the worst person in the world and deserve to die and should self destruct. I am very proud of myself since I can now recognize after each episode, not during, the symptoms and can understand a little more about what is going on. BUT I for sure do not feel in control and am spiraling into a psychosis. I am here one second and the next I am disassociated or talking to myself and I cannot control it. I am takingmy meds and trying to stay in my routine but between one second I am messed up at the bar or doing something crazier or I am to weak to even eat. I genuinely feel like my mind is gone. I am so confused and I feel very scared, also I cannot comfort myself. I litterally feel like I am taking 10 steps back in becoming an independent female woman living with bipolar disorder. I want to have anormal life and live and have a family one day and graudate school, but I am a wreck. iI cannot even put it into words. and also why do I have such a fixation on being a good or bad person, does anyone else here feel the same like its all I have ever thought about, but how can I be a good person when all I do is bring negaitivy and I cry and people are always having to look after me. For a while Iwas doing better not struggling with the screaming voice in my head. It has come back and i can't go to the mental hostpital because they will only take you when you are sucicdal and I am not nessciarlly suicidal but I am scared if I go into a psychosis again i will do soemthing like take all of my pills or drive off of something and not know, you know? Because I am not there and also im a lot for my mother, she is the only one in my family who has emapthy with mental illness everyone else like my dad thinks I am seeking attention and i swear Im not. i ACTUALLY don't even like attention. Idk this si all over the place and I am sorry for that. I justs needed to vent to people who go through similar things. Again Im sorry this is everywhere and also sorry if this is triggering so please remove if it needs to be as I am new to this.
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Good Thursday to you!I've been watching a really long trial on Youtube these last couple of nights and will finish tomorrowHopefully I'll be in the land of nod soon and I hope my peeps are having sweet dreams followed by a great daySending hugs...xo
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Hey all, i know its been quite awhile since i posted on here. Its been a summer all right. Its been something else........... You know how they say not to open the can of worms? Well a few months ago i decided to find out what my due date would have been for my first baby, the one conceived by r***. My baby would have been due on March 4th of 2006. They would be 20 years old. I was R**** on June...
Yes it's a hard illness to deal with, no doubt about that...my first go arounds for 40 years ago had me questioning my broken brain for a very long time due to psychosis.
One thought about meds...if you are on lithium, be sure to drink a lot of water, get your kidney function checked when lithium levels are done as this med is processed through the kidney...not cool...I was on lamictal for years which is a more safe mood stabilizer with less side effects...at least in my own situation.
The symptoms of not showering, no energy, sleep issues, diet are very familiar with depression, which always comes after a manic/psychotic phase. I'm glad to read you have had therapy and good dr's. You might look into DBT therapy as it will give you tools. Another thing that might help is to journal what you have learned, what others see in you prior to an episode to remind you what to look for as symptoms and avoid a full blown take down of bp1.
I was dx'd at 30, I'm now 70, worked my life, went to college and was a single mom...quite frankly, now in retirement I find my days harder! Nothing much to do, or at least things that I want to do, there are Many things I find overwhelming to even face in my house!
I wish you the best!! This is a sort of slow room, but there are good people here <3
I would stay away from the bar.
It can be a lot to manage medication when things have been tweaked so much. It takes some time to reset a bit and I hope you find a good psychiatrist and a therapist who can be attuned to the side effects of the meds as you adjust. Maybe an IOP program? Intensive outpatient therapy where you go five days a week but go home to sleep in your own bed?
It’s hard when you’re younger going through this because you’re still growing into who you are. You are not a “bad” person and if someone in the medical field made you feel that way I don’t think they were self aware of their own behavior or opinion and how that would impact someone being treated medically in a time of great need.
Baby steps right now.
Lithium has been my miracle medication. Ive been mostly stable for 3 years with only short episodes that quickly got under control.
Im glad you have your mom on your side. Family support is so important in dealing with this.
I think managing this illness is about recognizing rising symptoms and learning how to wrangle them before they get too unmanageable. For me, its been managing my sleep hygiene!
Keep going!
It can take quite some time to find the right med/combo for each person but you will
Right now it doesn't seem that you're stable... Are you seeing your psych regularly?
It's good that you're thinking of going into a program
Please hang onto that we do have a treatable disorder because we do
Big hug.... xo
I see my psych once a month, I am feeling a lot more stable right now since this post, I have entered the calm after the storm as they say, right now I don't feel sad or angry or manic I just feel content in a way. I am able to communicate my thoughts a little better. I am going to call tm, Monday as they have been closed this past weekend, and see if I can get in before my scheduled appointment. Thank you for these kind and encouraging words!