Bipolar Disorder Support Group

Bipolar disorder is not just a single disorder, but a category of mood disorders marked by periods of abnormally high energy and euphoria, often accompanied by bouts of clinical depression. This is the place to talk about your experience with bipolar disorder, learn from others' experiences, and find support.

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need to punish

Alliegator
Alliegator
I want to cut but I promised two of my friends I would tell them before I did it. I don't want to bother them or tell them. I know they will just make me stop and I REALLY want to just cut. I feel horrible breaking my promise but I don't know how else to get rid of my anger at myself. I need to punish myself. I ate so much today and didn't really study. I am such a piece of shit. I can tell I have sunken into a depression. I have no motivation and all I want to do is sleep. I get angry at myself for this. I can't bomb my finals I have worked so hard all quarter! I just need to be punished.
deleted_user
deleted_user
keep fighting it... I know how you feel been there... havent self harmed since dec 2008.. put your hands in ice cold water, till it hurts... I still dont have coping skills to release anger either.. I always suck anger into myself and onto myself..it dont matter what I am angry about, or at, I always suck it in..just keep fighting it.. the compulsion will subside soon.. this will pass... fight it
deleted_user
deleted_user
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=DBOYYlanm1k


Amazing Song. I don't know if you like Allison Krauss. The vocals don't start for 47 seconds...

We are still a work in progress... We are safe.
deleted_user
deleted_user
You are not a piece of shit! If you are, then so am I because I overate both Saturday and Sunday and I didn't get anything done. But I know I'm not a piece of shit and I just started over again today, with the diet, that is. I still haven't started the work I need to do. But, I feel bad for you! I know what it's like to be so unable to control things and in so much pain, you want to cut. I wish I had some advice for you but I don't. Just compassion...
Alliegator
Alliegator
Thanks guys. I actually ended up waking my friend up like I had promised her. I was scared she was going to be mad but she wasn't. She was glad I had come to her first. She was able to talk me down so I didn't cut.
nobody666
nobody666
Yea good job gator :) I am proud of you!
walkingthewhiteline
walkingthewhiteline
It sounds like you are punishing yourself enough.

No-I know cutting is a different type of punishment.

Have you tried the two fist fulls of ice cubes yet. I'm not talking about one cube in one hand, but as much as you can hold in both hands. When you do let the burn begin!

Please let me know when you have done this. I want to know if you got the benefits from pain from it. The good thing is it just leaves you with red hands for a bit-no scarring or permenant damage.

T