Bipolar Disorder Support Group

Bipolar disorder is not just a single disorder, but a category of mood disorders marked by periods of abnormally high energy and euphoria, often accompanied by bouts of clinical depression. This is the place to talk about your experience with bipolar disorder, learn from others' experiences, and find support.

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HannaHana 09/23/2008

I'm so full of depression, anxiety, anger, rage and whatever else you can possibly think of. Right at this moment.

I may have posted replies that were harsh and uncalled for, I apologize to those people.

I know we've all been through this, but I'm having one of those days...

Why me?
Why my family?
Why can't I get better?
Why when I feel like I'm getting better I crash?
If there's a God, I hate him.
If it's genetics, I hate them.

I could honestly go off on a rampage, wanting to break everything in my path. I want to cut just to release some sort of pain b/c the pain is just not coming out! (I won't SI though, don't worry).

It's BP. I know. But I just needed to rant a little. Thanks to anyone who actually reads this.

jeansmind 09/23/2008

What else is new...feel like this most of the time....Even the right meds don't help our situations, you have your kids right???? Be thankful for that and look at them and try to find peace in their existence.

HannaHana 09/23/2008

I'd love to do that...however my son is a beeper, and that makes life just that much more difficult...he's only 5, so he doesn't even know how to express himself.

Thanks you though.

jeansmind 09/23/2008

But you can understand and help. How in the world can a 5 year old be diagnosed????

deleted_user 09/23/2008

Hanna did anything trigger this or did that ole black dog just creep up?

HannaHana 09/23/2008

Unlabeled BP...Mood Disorder is what they call it in anyone younger than 16 I think.

I think ChickenNoodleSoup was right...I may have been triggered by taking a trip to my old home town.

jeansmind 09/23/2008

If that is what triggered it, what do you normally do to calm yourself down???

deleted_user 09/23/2008

That's right you took a rode trip over the weekend.

Hang in there---We are here for you.

HannaHana 09/23/2008

I don't regularly go to my old home town. I was heavily medicated that last few times I did.

I try deep breathing, journaling, DS, talking on the phone, reading (if possible), watching TV....then xanax. I've refused doing some of these things I normally would do purely b/c I know they won't work.

I took my xanax, I couldn't even speak to my Mother when she spoke to me. She's left, I'm free to cry, just in time for my face to be blotchy when the kids come home. Last thing they need is to see me like this.

I appreciate your support. Thank you.

deleted_user 09/23/2008

Do you have some shades you could wear when you pick up kids? You can also use them to cry while in the house. Crying releases alot of pain

HannaHana 09/23/2008

I, believe it or not, don't own any shades. I just need to meet them at the bus stop, no big deal. I just don't want my kids to see me this way.

deleted_user 09/23/2008

Isnt it amazing how sunglasses do help to get you out when you dont wanna? I know it helps me.

deleted_user 09/23/2008

(((HannaHana)))

deleted_user 09/23/2008

I just want to say I feel your pain and in bed right now myself. Lets hang on and wait it out!

silentnight 09/23/2008

it may not be what you want to hear right now Hanna but I had a blessed Lourdes candle lit today from 2 - 3 in thanksgiving to Our Lady of Lourdes for helping my little nephew back on the road to recovery and I also said a prayer for all DS Bipolar Groups members, including myself

Im hoping you will feel her warmth and strength soon Hanna

Many hugs to you....

deleted_user 09/23/2008

TRY TO LISTEN TO SOME CALMING MUSIC OR EVEN TRY A HOT BATH OR SHOWER.. DON'T CUT YOURSELF.. IF YOU NEED TO TALK I WILL LISTEN..

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