Tell him you want to look over his shoulder when he reads his girly magizenes, hopefully he will get embarassed and start to under stand some things are just private. even for couples

What kind of questions?

Your journal is private because you want it that way. End of discussion- that's a boundary issue.


Now if he's simply looking for more info on how you feel about things and how you're doing- perhaps you can write him a weekly letter and you can both talk about it. He can write one too. Could be a good couple building experience.

If he's possesive or freakish about reading your personal journal- Big Red Flag imho.

((hugs))

I'd dump this guy. Then write about it in YOUR journal.
No relationship succeeds without secrets and respect.

Any time he sees his name in my journal, he'll read it. I'm pretty good about closing my journal whenever he comes near me, but if I take the time to finish a sentence, he'll read something in there and ask me why I said that or what I mean.

I yelled and yelled yesterday how it was my private property, but he has an answer for everything....and he must love to fight.

Hanna, what if you only write in your journal when he isnt around? It IS your private journal and you have EVERY right to keep it that way. I agree with gemi, it is a boundary issue and one that needs to be enforced. However, he may feel if you are writing while he is there, you are talking about him in it. Kind of like "girlfriends" in a huddle, ya know? Dont give him reason to WANT to look, just dont do it with him around. Save it for daytime when he is at work.

Tell him, if he wants to know things, you can talk more, have more open convos that will help him understand. Heck, I wouldnt let my husband see my journal. Would he rather you talked to people instead about how you feel with him?

I say, take away his temptation to look.....xoxo

I agree with gemiwing. You are setting a boundary with your journal. I have my own journal too. My husband doesn't read it. Occasionally, I may share something I'm writing about, particularly if I'm upset and need a hug, but it's none of his business.

I also liked Shelly's suggestion of writing when he's not around. I hope that helps.

I do mostly journal during the day while he's at work...but, like I said, I journal everyday and he only works Mon-Thurs. There's always the 3 day weekend. I do shut my journal when he comes near, I guess I just have to stop finishing my sentences if he comes into the room.

That's a great idea though Shelly.

Okay, if you have to, go to the bathroom and lock the dang door. You have a right to some privacy no matter how closed quarters it is. I would find a way to have the privacy you need, I do. I go to my room and lock the door so I can think straight without all the noise. You should not have to but if he isnt going to understand it will cause less conflict.

Sometimes they dont like knowing you are confiding in a journal more than in them. Out of site, out of mind. xoxo

Get a livejournal - www.livejournal.com - it is online - make sure to make your entries private (it has an eye icon) so no one can see them.

Exactly Shelly. He doesn't like that I tell everything to my journal and don't talk directly to him. Maybe we'll work something out about when I should/can journal. It's just really frustrating that I can't write when I want to without having to worry about him reading it.

You shouldn't have to journal around his schedule. You should be able to do it whenever the mood strikes you. If he can't deal with it it is a problem and you must think hard about what this could mean about other things in your life with this man. He obviously doesn't respect your privacy. do you really want to live that way? His problem runs deeper than just wanting to read your journal.....

Blame it on your Pdoc and Tdoc. Tell him that you are supposed to have a private journal and he can't read it. Even say tough shit if you need to. It is the old blame the doctors for prying eyes from seeing the journal sort of thing.

tell him to write one too..and see if he is willing to share it!!!!!!!!!

I know this is a guy perspective...but here goes. I have had this same argument with my "other person" on more than one occasion. But......I have caught "her" looking at dating site profiles and talking about exes and such (in an erotic way) Now what I do is let her see anything that I write as long as I can see anything she writes. Tit for Tat ya know? But in all reality if your not writing anything bad about him....just let him see. If you feel that you don't like to share personal things with someone who will soon be your husband, then maybe there's more to this than just a privacy issue. Either way I wish you luck. Hugs Mark

Tough titty said the kitty but the milk is still good!!