How many shrinks does it take to change a light bulb? only 1 but the light has to want to be changed. =) Just a little smile.

You may want to contact your doc and see if a med tweak could help short term.

Thanks for the joke. :-) I wish I could get my meds tweaked. My appointment isn't until the 21st and I haven't seen him since the original prescription for the Depakote was written. I'll definitely be talking to him about it when I get in there.

Things will get better it just takes time and effort. I know when I'm depressed I want to sleep all day and do nothing. It seems like your boyfriend is not too supportive. If you need to chat or talk I am on at least in the mornings and throughout the day on occasion.

That's exactly how I feel today. I haven't done a darn thing today. Set the alarm in time to get the kids ready and off to school and that's it. I know if I do nothing it will just make the situation worse but I can't seem to get motivated to do anything today. I'm not even sure if I care about getting anything done today. I just feel like my effort isn't appreciated anyway so why bother, you know?

I went through a very watered down version of what you're describing the last year that I worked (2006). Everyone kept telling me to hang in there, you can do it etc. But the truth was I couldn't. I hope the fact that I'm on disability now doesn't scare you! I worked with BP for a long time but after my son's accident things changed. All I can say is that family members came to accept me as me in time.

It sounds like your BF is voicing a lot of stuff that most people keep to themselves. I think he's being mean and overreacting but I have to say honestly that some of his feelings probably aren't all that out of the ordinary. It is difficult to accept that someone you love has any kind of health problem and because most people can control their emotions and thoughts it's just plain hard for them to imagine that someone else can't.

Is there any way the two of you could go to counseling together? He needs to begin to understand that you need time to heal and that torturing you will only make the thing he wants (a more effective you) much more difficult to achieve. BP symptoms are triggered by stress and you've been on meds such a short time. Don't give up.

Please don't be so hard on yourself either! Quite honestly your BF is doing more than enough of that. You have to try to believe in your doctor and keep the lines of communication open with him. I would definitely call him and let him know what's going on.

Can your BF come to your next appointment? Maybe he will understand a little better if a physician explains. At the very least you could consider asking your BF to write down some of his main concerns so you can get some expert answers for him at your next appointment. This is pretty much how I have to deal with my BF from everything from remodeling to dog training!

I think what your BF is doing is very unkind but anger is a step toward acceptance in some people. I don't know if you have BP1 or BP2 but I have BP1 and I was pretty functional up until my son's accident (he's a quadriplegic now). I had a pretty serious break at that time. But I have improved a lot!

I didn't work for 6 years then worked for 3 PT then tried FT. I won't lie, working was more than I could take and I had some pretty serious symptoms. I have done a lot of healing since then. And IMO there are a lot of people without any kind of mental illness who would find my life tough.

Yes, healing is possible with BP. And I function under some fairly stressful conditions. Please don't think that because some people with BP can't work etc that that is a given for you. Symptoms are usually at the crisis point when most of us get on medication and no matter how good the meds it takes time for things to settle down emotionally and otherwise.

Sorry this is so long. Guilt is very common with BP. I still feel guilty for not 'pulling my weight'. But people with MS or rhumitoid arthritis feel guilty too. There are many differences and I wouldn't want either of those illnesses. One of the differences however is that people believe in their disabilities right off the bat. It's that old seeing is believing thing.

I really hope that your BF will come to terms with this. If you are with the right guy he will but he has a lot to make up for. I hope he comes to realize that.

Best of luck! Barbara

My husband is my greatest supporter.
However, it wasn't always this way; he used to be more like your boyfriend.
DH went through a period of depression himself. That sure changed his tune. He finally understood what i was dealing with.
He has also put a good deal of effort into reading about BP to learn all about it. When i am in a really bad way he also goes to the doctor with me. I think seeing how seriously the doctor takes my issues has also helped him understand.
Would a joint session with your doctor help? He may believe the doctor more than he believes you. This may be sad, but true.
Susan

BTW, you have only been on meds for six weeks. this sometimes isn't long enough to reap the benefits of a medication.
Susan

Have I mentioned how much I love all you guys here on DS? Thank you all for the responses. My boyfriend has gone to therapy with me before. My last therapist had the same "get over it" mentality that he did so it wasn't helpful. My new therapist told him that he should try to be more understanding and communicate more. We've only seen the new therapist together once so far (just started therapy with her recently). I told him last night that all of the things he was yelling at me about he should bring up next time we go because that's what she's there for. I don't think he believes her any more than me. He's so impatient for me to be "normal" that it pushes me back to square one. It's very frustrating. I'm almost positive that he's BP 1 himself, which doesn't help matters sometimes. I've been trying to take things one step at a time and not push myself so hard that I snap but it seems like no matter what I do it's never good enough for anyone. The only one to tell me that I'm doing a good job and makes me feel good about myself is my therapist. I resent that fact because it's pathetic. She gets paid to help me. Why is it to much to ask that I get a little encouragement from the people who are supposed to love me? Maybe I need longer on the meds or maybe they need to be adjusted. I can't wait to get on something that will allow me to lead the life I want to have and get rid of all this drama in my life.