Pdocs won't see you? Do they know you have ideations?

hang tough irish! I hope this time passes quickly. Have you thought about going for a walk to get some fresh air and the blood flowing? Sometimes exercise can give a clear or fresh vantage on things.
Glad you reached out.. feel better.

hope you feel better soon, it's a good sign that you are back on the board

Ouch Irish!! Sounds like you need a new healthcare team! Try to hang on and ride it out as much as you can and seek outside help as soon as possible. They shouldn't be saying that they won't see you or being anything but helpful. Not only is that what they are paid for but if they are in healthcare then they have an obligation as people to be empathetic. Those of us that work in the medical field will all agree.

Gentle hug sweetie..... I'm glad that you're back....

If you need to please go to emerg…. I hope that you feel better soon.....xo

Hi all, thanks so much for the supportive messages. it helps a lot.
yes Mark, I walk dixie (the dog) for about half an hour every day. otherwise she would go mad from the inactivity (she's only three or four years old). I know i am strange but for me the meds must work first and then I am able to apply all the tools in my box. when they work it feels so good to be happy without being ecstatic and sad without being suicidal. it is just a pity that either the side effects are awful or they only work for a short time. the three stooges do not like getting med suggestions from me even when i tell them i have tried something before and had to go off it. my GP just thinks i'm a bit eccentric and is not yet sure what to make of me. I have not been with him very long either. I changed GP's because he is just across the street and the previous one was half an hour's drive away. unfortunately my wonderful Pdoc retired at the same time. If i had known that was going to happen i would not have changed GP's at that stage.
don't worry I am not suicidal, just the ideation is back and i continue to redirect and deflect. the dog is a miracle anyone who knows me is astonished about as i have always been terrified of dogs. One of my sons is having problems for the last while and has been very antagonistic toward me but we finally sorted that out this afternoon. we talked for three hours on the phone. we have talked for hours before this but hopefully this time he was more open to me. it turns out he is worried about his health (i think a lot of it is depression which he will not accept) so i told him to just leave me some of that worry. I have good strong shoulders no matter what is going on for me personally. I will see the GP during the week and see if he will change the meds for me or something, anything really that might help. hugs to all.

I'm sorry you're feeling this way. Hugs.

Hi Irish. Did you not just have a failed suicide attempt fhe otheyweek? You said you cut yourself? Do the stooges know this? Seems like docs out of the us don’t give a rats butt how patients cope. I’m so sorry you’re dealing with so much. Love and hugs to you

yes kisses four failures since mid July up to a few weeks ago. i speak but it is like they are on a different planet to me or because i dealt with the consequences myself because they didn't work, they don't take me seriously. i feel invisible when i am in there because they already had their minds made up before they even met me.

hugs to you Irish. I hope you and the doctors will reach an understanding and come to a place where it's collaborative. My current pdoc is a very stern man and unlike any other of my preferred doctors but though we are different we have worked together to find solutions for my medication management. Sending you strength and encouragement, (((hugs))))

thanks SH , i would be so happy if they would reach some co-operation level about meds. that's all i really need them for. even after all these years and different combos i am not ready to give up yet and i do wish they would help me. i am on a waiting list for a therapist (six months time).

I too have dealt with thoughts of suicide. For the past 32 years. I understand how these thoughts can seem to dominate our lives. At the beginning I had the thoughts constantly. As time went by, the severity and duration of the thoughts decreased, sometimes I would go for days without thinking of suicide. Recently they have returned. I have seen many psychiatrists and therapists over the years, some who were good and some who weren't. I have been fired from several jobs and have had to move for new ones so unfortunately I can't see the ones I thought were good. I am reaching out to find a new therapist. Hopefully I will find a good one.