I think that when we've had a disorder for a while and when we recognize the signs of getting unwell we do have a responsibility to take steps in order to stay stable

One of the big things unfortunately about having a mental health disorder is that it effects behaviour when we're sick and so it can take a toll not just on us but also on those who care about us

On top of that as time goes on and if we continue having episodes they get worse over time so it's a gift to ourselves to stay as stable as possible

There are some people who can cycle so quickly that they don't always have insight ... I'm really glad that I do

I think it's understandable that when you're not doing as well as you could be Rubes that you don't take great care of yourself... I think that happens with both physical and mental illnesses... We do the best that we can... Big hug for you sweetie...I'm sorry that you're struggling.... xo

Thecthing with me Jan is most of the time ibdont realise until its too late and I'm in an episode. Recently people have asked me if I keep a mood journal and maybe that's what I need to do. And specifically make note of my behaviour - sleep, appetite, pain, etc. And this infernal compulsion to want to stop my meds. I wish I lived with someone who could give me daily feedback but i don't so I need to be more aware so a journal may be a good substitute.

It might help.. I kept one when I was in the hospital and I was surprised how telling that they were... . I would go back and read the prior week after keeping it and it really did sort of surprise me... Even going back and reading perhaps a couple of weeks at a time of journals here may help.. It's one thing venting and putting a voice to our feelings... Going back and reading them is quite telling of what kind of place we're in psychologically...xo

A mood journal sounds like a great idea.

I also wish you had more support in daily life. I think your wish to be on less meds is not unreasonable, but has to be handled with professional help and also requires some patience.

Even though you've veered towards some extremes lately, I want to give you credit for bringing yourself back from the edge each time.

I really wish you had consistent, available support. The person who has been unavailable for weeks needs to be replaced with someone more competent and professional. You deserve better!

I don't think it's necessarily being irresponsible it just depends on the level of illness. Some people are just more I tuned to how they are feeling and sometimes I spiral so fast and so hard I do t ever see it coming.

I think of it as masochistic. My therapy is progressed enough to know how nasty the results of self-neglect are. I believe it is nothing shy of masochistic to set myself up for all that pain and discomfort when I know how to prevent it.

But that is me. . .

Continued support while you sort your own, Ruby.

Hello ruby. Maintaining a journal and writing out my thoughts, feelings, and regular activities that I'm doing in my day is extremely helpful to me. These entries/goal setting notations help me to clarify what's important, track things that I need to track, and also keeping a schedule of what I need to do each day, as well as making to-do lists really helps me to keep on top of things. Wishing you the best in your endeavours.

No ruby, it is not an excuse. the fact of the illness gives us the nature of the symptoms sometimes over which we have little control. you have taken all the steps you can to protect yourself. give yourself some credit for all the things you have survived with that inner strength that seems to be always present even when in the middle of an episode. keep coming on here and things wont get out of hand. we are all behind you and beside you holding things together when you can't. you have kept me sane on numerous occasions. let us do the same for you. i hope you manage to get in touch with your care person and that things pick up for you soon. this too will pass.

I don't think it's an excuse. All the people i turn to for support, say the same. I'm big on taking responsibility for anything in my life, and I have the same dilemma.