Ok funny storys!you go first x

Why were the baby aunts crying?...........Because all their uncles were aunts.....ha ha

man and his wife go to their honeymoon hotel for their 25th anniversary. As the couple reflected on that magical evening 25 years ago, the wife asked the husband, "When you first saw my naked body in front of you, what was going through your mind?"

The husband replied, "All I wanted to do was to fuck your brains out, and suck your tits dry."

Then, as the wife undressed, she asked, "What are you thinking now?"

He replied, "It looks as if I did a pretty good job."

#15,getting close xxxxxxxxx

#18,getting better xxx

Jose Cuervo Christmas Cookies

1 cup of water
1 tsp baking soda
1 cup of sugar
1 tsp salt
1 cup of brown sugar
1 cup lemon juice
4 large eggs
1 cup nuts
2 cups of dried fruit
1 bottle Jose Cuervo Tequila

Sample 1 level cup of the Cuervo to check the quality. Take a large
bowl, check the Cuervo again, to be sure it is still of the highest
quality, pour another level cup and drink.

Turn on the electric mixer. Beat one cup of butter in a large
fluffy bowl. Remove butter paper wrapper from bowl.

Add one teaspoon of sugar..Beat again. At this point it's best to
make sure the Cuervo is still OK, try another levelel cup ...just in
case.

Turn off the mixerer thingy. Break 2 eggs and add to the bowl and
chuck in the cup of dried fruits , Pick the frigging fruit off
floor... Mix on the turner. If the fried druit gets stuck in the
beaterers just pry it loose with a drewscriver. Sample the Cuervo
to check for tonsisticity.

Next, sift two cups of salt, or something. Who giveshz a sheet.
Check the Jose Cuervo. Now shift the lemon juice and strain your
nuts. Add one table. Add a spoon of sugar, or somefink. Whatever
you can find. Greash the oven.

Turn the cake tin 360 degrees and try not to fall over. Don't
forget to beat off the turner. Finally, throw the bowl through the
window, finish the Cose Juervo and make sure to put the stove in the
dishwasher.

CHERRY MRISTMAS

I was once telling my sister a story and as usual i was acting out the scene with enthusiam and i pulled off my mole! No joke!
I pulled at my top and acidently caught a small mole and pulled it off! My sister was hysterical and fell about laughing! i was in a state of shock with a small mole in my hand! I kept it in a match box to take to the doctor (thought he may want to see it) i forgot to take it! still somewhere in the house x

You said anything will do and your rating jokes! lawd misty

#22,dont think I can beat that,does hair in a matchbox from a your dead dog count?xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx

#23,sorry wont do it again xxxxxxxxxxxxxx

erm ....i think its up there with it??

Did you hear about that new restaurant on the moon?? Good food, but NO atmosphere...
(My adult daughter's FAVORITE joke!!).

Are we auditioning for The Funniest Bipolar Show?

#28,of course,the top prize is a trip to the Maldives xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx

Where the hell is that? Is that place inside my head.