Bipolar Disorder Support Group
Bipolar disorder is not just a single disorder, but a category of mood disorders marked by periods of abnormally high energy and euphoria, often accompanied by bouts of clinical depression. This is the place to talk about your experience with bipolar disorder, learn from others' experiences, and find support.
I am really struggling right now and I need help but I don't want to ask those around me for help because I don't want to inconvenience them/think I'm a burden.
I have depressing thoughts. I have depressing realizations. I realize that I am worthless and will never amount to anything. I have lost my creativity with all this wellness medication and I used to be an amazing artist. I have lost my memory and I feel like there is no reason for me to live. I can't remember my life or any events in conversation and I will never be able to tell stories of great times in my life. By the way there are no great times in my life. I am never going to get through school because I am a terrible student and I have no career goals. I have no goals. I just want everything to disappear, mainly everything that I am feeling. I have major body image issues and when I picture myself I just see fat and sag. When I look in the mirror it's not as bad as I go around picturing it. But it's not the way I want it. And I don't think it will ever be. I never want to be with a man ever again because I don't want him to see my body. I am dating someone now, and I am just so insecure. I want to call him now but then again I do not because I don't want to burden him and make him think I'm crazy, although he's relatively accepting.
I could write more but then I don't think anyone will read it.
I went to a somewhat formal occasion tonight to celebrate my grandfathers 80th birthday. My great uncle and aunt are the best of the best. Very smart and intellectual and funny and generous and ... just amazing. I crumbled under their glory tonight instead of celebrating it. I just compared myself to everyone and realized I have nothing and what I have is failing.
Ok I'm going on again so I'll just stop.
Will someone help me stop hating myself? It's been going on for far too long and it feels like madness inside my head.
I have depressing thoughts. I have depressing realizations. I realize that I am worthless and will never amount to anything. I have lost my creativity with all this wellness medication and I used to be an amazing artist. I have lost my memory and I feel like there is no reason for me to live. I can't remember my life or any events in conversation and I will never be able to tell stories of great times in my life. By the way there are no great times in my life. I am never going to get through school because I am a terrible student and I have no career goals. I have no goals. I just want everything to disappear, mainly everything that I am feeling. I have major body image issues and when I picture myself I just see fat and sag. When I look in the mirror it's not as bad as I go around picturing it. But it's not the way I want it. And I don't think it will ever be. I never want to be with a man ever again because I don't want him to see my body. I am dating someone now, and I am just so insecure. I want to call him now but then again I do not because I don't want to burden him and make him think I'm crazy, although he's relatively accepting.
I could write more but then I don't think anyone will read it.
I went to a somewhat formal occasion tonight to celebrate my grandfathers 80th birthday. My great uncle and aunt are the best of the best. Very smart and intellectual and funny and generous and ... just amazing. I crumbled under their glory tonight instead of celebrating it. I just compared myself to everyone and realized I have nothing and what I have is failing.
Ok I'm going on again so I'll just stop.
Will someone help me stop hating myself? It's been going on for far too long and it feels like madness inside my head.
Depression sucks...sucks the life out of us.
One of the hardest things is to do something good for myself when I'm in the thick of it. Good work getting out some feelings by drawing and reaching out. Keep listening to your aunt - she sees the beauty in you when the mirror may not. Mirrors suck. Loving aunts rock.