i am sorry you're feeling horrible. i know the feeling. i had this earlier today. i have had to learn to have patience and nurture myself along. sure I wish i didn't have this, but there ARE sweet moments to life. i think that's all everybody has is 'nice moments' occasionally and then in between times.
I hope you can find some peace and get some inspiration to have new and better day tomorrow.

I've been happy most of my life - but then shit hit the fan in 2010 and i experienced my first depression. Been battling it on and off every since - this last go around is the worst. I dont want this to be my new normal either. Why can't I go back to the way i was. What has changed so? I know what its like to feel alone and disheartened. To lose your way. I dont want to feel this way either. I wish better for both of us.

Angels whisper to those who walk. ~Charles Dickens

Pain is inevitable. Suffering is optional. I've had allot of pain in my life and sometimes I do, indeed, get lost in my pain and begin to suffer. I have been lost in suffering as well and. . . Well. . . Suffering is not much of a life in Arf World. Positive affirmations and appreciation exercises are my way out of suffering. Still got the pains, but. . . It sure makes a diff when I can appreciate what an amazing world we live in.

Gentle support while you find your own way out of suffering, noone. Hope healing happens here.

Being a support sight, I think that maybe the bad stuff is brought up more, so it seems crushing and omnipotent and inevitable.

It's the reverse Facebook effect - I go on there and all I see is people with supposedly perfect lives and perfect families and perfect smiles. I know it is as much an absolute as this is, just on the other end of the spectrum.

Please keep yourself safe. I hear you, and I have said those words so many times. Usually when I am contemplating very bad things. Please, keep yourself safe and call out for professional help if you need it. Take care.

Life is what you choose to make it...everyone has challenges to overcome.... depression sucks but with the right treatment you can still live a normal life.... and depression lies to you so your thoughts are not reality.... please take action if needed to stay safe ((hugs)) polar

I really like the way you wrote your post. I think many people with bipolar disorder could put themselves into your shoes, well said! The depression doesn't help with our perceptions of our lives. But to turn the coin over, we also tend to be above average intelligence, more perceptive, and more creative and artistic. Like the good way you wrote your post. Sometimes people might give you good advice that applies to most people, like getting exercise, which is good for us also, but doesn't have the same affect for us overall. Even among those who have bipolar disorder, our experiences are each individual ones. With a virtually limitless number of possible severity and symptom combinations and add to that our own personalities, etc... which are routinely changing and fluctuating, managing it can be a 24-7 job in and of itself. And there are also a long list of medications that can be taken, or taken in combination, to help keep the symptoms at bay. But that is a good thing, since we are so different and not all medications help in the same way for each of us.

"reading through some people's posts on DS and i realized how a lot of people on here have been struggling their whole lives. how they've never been happy, they've only suffered. many of them haven't had good lives. "

That's a product of it being a support site and the nature of the board right now. We've had many members who are ok or feeling great but they are not posting right now.

For me, by any measure I've had a pretty good life - could have been better without the bipolar but could have been alot worse too.

Big hug for you noone..... I agree with what others have written noone...... Lumping a long period of time into one big melting pot is catrastophyzing ..... Life becomes one big catastrophe and that is almost never true either

I think the being in 'pursuit of happiness' is what we all are and it's important to appreciate the little things in life

Gratitude is probably my greatest tool of all and especially when I'm in a low point.... Try and think of 5 things to be grateful for everyday.... They are always there and when I do it lifts my spirits

Cuddling with my pooch
Having morning coffee with a delish muffin
Appreciating a sunny day
Visiting with my DS friends
Having a home I'm comfortable in

You might be in a depression now??... If that's the case I would make an appt with your doc sweetie.... Big hug and a blessing for you.....xo

Hi No one,

I have had BP my whole life and I have had many good times, and have had a lot of stability because I got diagnosed when I was 23. Therefore I have had both mania and depression treated.

I was able to have a career, go to school, travel, get married etc. I've had a normal life in other words...think of BP as akin to having diabetes you have to pay attention to it but you can manage to have a life....same with BP.

Depression makes it hard to see anything but sadness and it screws up you sense of time because it feels like you have always been depressed. It can be managed and you can get well again.....doesn't mean you won't have episodes but they too can be managed to shorten their severity....

You were going to see a doctor where are you in that process?