Am wondering if anyone else has spent their life living way, way apart from the main stream. I've always worked to support myself but have been poor because I've done the bare minimum in that regard, so that I would be able to paint every day of my life. I'm an artist.  But working always part time, I never build a life for myself of any kind. Always just existing somewhere on the bottom rung of the economic ladder.

Never building any kind relationship for myself, I would, after spending a few years with one partner, leave to go and be with someone else who appealed to me more because of the newness of the infatuation.

I didn't realize how devastating this would all appear to me when I reached my senior years and looked back and saw what I've done or rather what I have not done – sin of omission in this case – omitting to work on and build a nice life for myself.

But I painted like a banshee and have a small size collection of work that is pretty expertly executed. At least I have that.

In this forum when I hear the innocent things that other people, especially younger people, feel guilty about I can't believe my ears because comparing them to myself they look like little angels.