I've been reading about emotional numbness lately. It's a self-protection mechanism from what I understand.

When we go through a lot of loss or stress we start cutting our emotions off to keep out the bad stuff. Unfortunately it keeps out the good stuff too, like turning off a switch.

Once the switch is off you don't experience the bad stuff quite as bad but there is also no joy or happiness in everyday life and there is no ability to form new relationships or enjoy new experiences.

How to turn the switch back on is what I'm trying to figure out right now. I kind of feel like it's an imaginary shield all around me. I can't get out and nothing can get in emotionally.

Wow SD. That's a good way of putting it. Makes a lot of sense too.

Please let me know if you figure out how the hell to flip the switch back on!

I'm flat as well so I find I don't feel bad too often but I don't feel good either..
I do think of things to be grateful for everyday though and it helps me a lot..
I try and remember to think of 5 things to be grateful for everyday..
It may simply be a cup of coffee or a nice hot shower but I've found that there are always things to be grateful for and gratitude helps my peace of mind..
Great big hug for you sweetie..xo

Do you know what gets my gander?

I hate it when folks think that because I don't or cannot laugh, that I don't find something funny.

Okay, so THAT person should get traumatized at age 6--let's see THEM laugh...............

My first black depression I lost my ability to smile - it was so odd, I physically couldn't make a smile. It lasted for six months then I went slowly back to my self. I joke around all the time typically, I have a very British sense of humor and people don't always get it.

Able to cry at every little thing, wish I was numb.
No smiling here.
Mood is so low.