Bipolar Disorder Support Group

Bipolar disorder is not just a single disorder, but a category of mood disorders marked by periods of abnormally high energy and euphoria, often accompanied by bouts of clinical depression. This is the place to talk about your experience with bipolar disorder, learn from others' experiences, and find support.

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HannaHana 04/29/2013

I have that song stuck in my head now. "Smile, though your heart is breaking...." I realized how very little I smile, and I try to be positive and think about what's going good in my life. I just seem utterly incapable of appreciating anything. Try though I may.

Does anyone else suffer from a lack of interest so intense that you can't even smile anymore? I can't even remember the last time I truly smiled.

SwordDancer 04/29/2013

Yeah, it's emotional numbness. Can't smile but can't cry either.

heretic 04/29/2013

I rarely smile. Even in pictures of me as a child I never smiled.
I don't feel like smiling ever, I know laughing is good but I never
laugh either. I know it's not normal, it's just the way I am.

HannaHana 04/29/2013

Yes SD. Completely flat.

SwordDancer 04/29/2013

Is it a drug side-effect Hanna?

HannaHana 04/29/2013

I used to be a different person. Very happy. I used to be grateful for the life I had. I'm a stranger to myself now. This is how I am now.

HannaHana 04/29/2013

I'm not on any newer meds. I've been on the same cocktail for longer than the numbness has been going on, so I don't think so....but hey, you never know.

justletmebe 04/29/2013

I can really relate, it's sad :(

deleted_user 04/29/2013

sorry xx

irishwriter 04/29/2013

hey,hannahana,good,to,see,you.numbness,is
a,bitch.maybe,you,need,a,med,tweak?hugs
to,you,one,of,the,last,of,the,'odd,ones'...
everybody,else,seems,to,have,disappeared,
there,are,only,a,few,of,us,left.

deleted_user 04/30/2013

I was like that. Everyone always said I look mad, or thought I was stuck up because I never smiled. I do now, but didn't when I was younger

silentnight 04/30/2013

I'm exactly the same Hanna

I never smile and laugh even less. I can't remember the last time I truly laughed

I'm like lifeis people tend to think I am stuck up as I have a very solemn face most of the time

It's pretty sad really, I think meds might have something to do with it though

good to see you btw

HannaHana 04/30/2013

Thanks all for your replies. Not that I would wish this on anyone, but at least I'm not alone.

Good to see all of you that I haven't seen in such a long time too!

deleted_user 04/30/2013

That really is very sad. I wonder if you could learn to laugh?? Or, maybe the people around you are just not that funny?

I'm the opposite. I laugh at everything and nothing - appropriate or inappropriate does not factor in. Must have learned it from my mother. She was famous for the one liners and always had hoards of people surrounding her - laughing.

I hope you can find out what is making you so emotionally numb.

deleted_user 04/30/2013

I had the same problem, life, when I was growing up. I seemed to be a happy child smiling but that changed around 15. Then people would say I looked mad even that they didn't want to cross me. I don't have a mean streak or never really have so I have no idea. It hurt.

I also was told the other day I have an evil laugh...one of many kinds of my laughs thank goodness. Never been told that before. Oh well.

I understand flat. My tdoc called it flat affect, which I'm sure you've heard that term too.

A med tweak maybe sounds like a good start. Like you said. Never know. All the best. xo

HannaHana 04/30/2013

Nothing is funny to me anymore. Things that used to be funny just aren't.

I already went to my pdoc about this, and I go back to see her again tomorrow. I did get a med tweak, but it's been making me sick, so I think I'm in for another tweak tomorrow.

Not sure what can be done about this. I hope there's something.

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