My life is pill bottles too!! Seems like every drs appt it's a change of meds. The longest constant one has been Seroquel for almost a year. Just watch yourself of Wellbutrin it CAN make you manic, not saying it will just keep yourself in check. If you are truly suicidal go to the ER or nearest p-hospital.

Sorry you feel so bad, Heretic. I know that it sometimes seems like our pdocs are jaded and unsympathetic, but I guess they have to have detachment from their job. I hope your new med regime works for you. I'm sorry if you feel your life is going awry. What's going on?

I think pdocs like to put the responsibility for our feelings back on us. Sometimes that works, sometimes it doesn't. I think in the pdoc manual it states that if a patient keeps their appointment and talks about not wanting to live then they're expressing their feelings, not making a threat so the best thing to do is a med change. A med change shows that he did take you seriously. Realize that it can take a lot of med changes to find the best combo and be patient.

I hope that your new meds work well for you...

I feel a bit overmedicated and may start a weaning of my own....2 AP's, 1 AD, 1 mood stabilizer and 1 antianxiety.....way too much. I know the guinea pig feeling.

Hang in there chick you can do this...ox

I agree with Tommy, largely because I had a similar conversation with my pdoc thus morning, the only difference bring I gave a plan but I can't put it into action for another 8 weeks (long story I won't hog your thread with)

The very fact that you kept your appointment shows that you do want to live, but you're really struggling right now and need help, and really the best way he can help you is medically. I hope you have the strength to get through this period and that the new mess work out for you. (((hugs)))

Sorry just reread my post - I didn't mean to completely contradict you by telling you you do want to live when you are feeling the opposite, I was just suggesting that is how your pdoc prob sees it.

I totally relate to the guinea pig thing too, we just have to have faith that they know what they're doing and they are acting with our best interests at heart x

ya it would concern me if my doctor reacted in the same way, comes off as very cold....
What a dickhead. hugs for you hun!

hope the med change helps, if not go back and make him take you seriously !!

My plan was a reason for the pdoc to begin with but then I ended up with multiple docs and most were like nothing happened so I was a med change for most.
If I saw the same one for two visits it was a banner time-not.
I was taken off the welbutrin to go for paxil which I probably will be coming off of because it isn't doing anything and it has been a months or two now.
I still get the feeling of being a ginnea pig.
Take Care.
Just stay with the program and here it might help more than you know.
ttfn AnnieEm

psychiatry is, unfortunately, a badly evolving medical specialty. i can remember 45 years ago when my diagnosed paranoid schizophrenic mother would tell her shrink that my father beat her and other outlandish things, and he believed her totally...no med changes, no hospitalization, nothing. now, they don't even listen to the patient. their job is to dispense medication, and that's about it, which is not helpful to those of us who suffer with suicidal tendencies.

the question I would ask is - why are you not on a mood stabilizer? your profile only mentions two anti-depressents

I think saying one dosent want to live is taken seriously for sure .. you are saying how badly you feel and he is working with your meds.. that's the biggest part of what psychiatry is about..perhaps you could ask him to be referred for counseling..talking about not wanting to live eg dont know how to when you feel this badly as opposed to wanting to die.. commit suicide are two different things and he will see them as that.. if you are suicidal please be frank about that and let you doc know.. I imagine you may well need a mood stabilizer but they will only work with one med at a time in case something needs changing they'll know what med it is..great big hug for you and a blessing.. Jan..x

Thanks to everyone for their support, I know I gotta gut it out and see if this works.

acuriousfish - my profile should show Geodon as my mood stabilizer, I'm taking that with the Wellbutrin now, and have Vistaril if I need it.

I really appreciate you all being here for me, your thoughts and concerns mean a lot, so thanks