i think about suicide a lot-especially when i'm having a lot of stress-i know most of the time these are reactionary feelings and if i try to get help-any kind of help(pdoc,cbt,ds,etc)these thoughts simmer down-get some help!

I have been hovering dangerously close to where you're at. The suicide idea has repeatedly popped into my head. I have some ways of handling these thoughts based on what I learned during two suicide attempts that ended me up in the hospital. As of last week, however, all of that changed when my pdoc seemed to have finally gotten my meds to work. Sometimes it takes time for them to work together. In any case, now I feel "normal". I'm not agitated, not lethargic, not angry, etc. I just feel like I think the vast majority of people must feel and it is a beautiful feeling.

I wish you all the best. Just remember that we think about suicide when the pain gets too great for us to handle. The key is to find out what you need to do to eliminate this pain. Everyone handles this differently but, with rare exception, the result can be a return to "normalcy" even when the world still seems to be crumbling around you.

I slept on it and I am still greatly depressed. Suicidal thoughts flow into my mind liberally and I have to experience these thoughts all day. I called my psychiatrist and left a message around 9 at night asking for her help in the matter. Very early this afternoon I called back and left another message confirming and asking for a phone cal back as soon as possible. She usually gets back to me quickly especially when the matter somewhat urgent or sensitive.

The thoughts of depression and suicide are not as they have felt in the past. This feeling is comforting. It's a way to getting away from life and the pain that has manifested within myself. I am sick of living this way. I would be happy in a coma. I want to write my will or arrangements in hand on paper and then sign it. If I type it and sign it, then it wont be valid. It was to be in your hand writing and then signed. Or have a lawyer or a public notary. OMG. I need some advice as to what to do. I am not going to the hospital... that is out of the question. I have plenty of people to watch over me.

Sweeite, I understand exactly where you are coming from. I have been there. Why isn't your pdoc calling you back? Are you working now? Why won't you go to the hospital? I really think it is time for you to call the crisis line or even go to the hospital. I have been in the hospital before and under the right circumstances, it was not that bad. They got my meds sorted out and were able to get me an emergency apt with my pdoc. I know you said you have your parents to watch over you, but are they with you now? You are talking about making out your will. That is not a good place to be in. Please get some help sweetie. Sending many hugs your way!! Keep talking to us if nothing else. We are good listeners!

I've been to the hospital 4 times and I think that I can be safe until my doc calls me back. My parents know all about my ill ness and someone is already around when I get back from school. I just dont know why we all have to live with this. When does it stop. It always seems to follow me. I am frustrated and all I want to do is sleep.

Hope, my heart is breaking for you, just remember we have all been there and there is light at the end of the tunnell. Keep posting and talking, keep your parents around you they love you so much, keep positive thoughts whenever you can, I notice we are in the same city so if you ever need help, let me know.

Hugs,

Can you call 911? Get yourself to a hospital where you can be safe and evaluated where they can get you to the appropriate level of care.