At the beginning of this week I took 30 tranquilizers, I was going to take a hell of a lot more but I couldn't get them down. Will kept trying to call an ambulance and I wouldn't let him... so then he forced me into the car and drove me to the hospital where I spent the night in ICU. They had me to take off ALL of my clothes, put on a johnny and lay in a bed under a cold stream of air.

They wanted to shove a tube up through my nose and down my throat to remove any undissolved pills from my stomach. But, I told them that was NOT going to happen. I wasn't the one making the rules anymore though. They made me drink charcoal, black chunky liquid... so gross ARGHHHHHH and it seemed to take hours to get down.

Different people in and out of my room, so embarassing. As if that wasn't enough.. & I've had blood tests before... but this time it hurt like bloody hell. The needles felt as though they were penetrating my bones. Some sort of oxygen level test that they had to do. I've got bruises on my arms because of it. I went from wanting to die to wanting to rip someone's frigging head off.

I'm back home and back to making the rules. Nothing here could ever be that bad. THAT IS NEVER HAPPENING AGAIN!!!