not sure hat a holiday program is..but as a parent you don't have to enjoy everything

it's like a christmas play or pageant, etc. The kids sang and read scripture while they built a large manger scene. I suppose it was cute, but I just don't enjoy that stuff.

OH...and to boot, the school principal got up and said "we haven't practiced this all together, so if they make a mistake just smile with the rest of us." I HATE THAT! You shouldn't apologize for the kids before they do anything at all. As a band director who performs with kids all the time, it's a major pet peave of mine.

Sorry folks for venting so much. Tis the season. :)

Sounds a lot like me and church. I'm not much of a churchgoer but my mom drags me out every once in a while, and on mother's day it's kind of an expected thing for me to do. Once the sermon starts I'm just counting down the minutes in my head.

i understand where you're coming from. are you glad that you went once it's over with?

my kid's have done certain things, that i didnt want to attend, once it was over tho, i was glad i went.

nothing wrong with having a scrooge-itude nice word.

Well, j, you are not alone in this. My boys are older now so I dont have to attend those kinds of things so much anymore. I had a difficult time with it too and also attending their sports functions. I did it mostly to "support" them and let them know I was proud of them. However, it was very difficult for me to be around people in general and I found the "false" socializing amoung parents very stressful.

I think as parents we do what we need to do for our children to give them a sense of "belonging" and family togetherness. It doesnt mean we are always going to enjoy it. I would always prepare myself by reminding myself of why I was truely doing it. I dont think we need to feel guilty for our thoughts but only if our thoughts become actions toward our children that cause ill will between us. Eventually the dynamics change and as they get older, they dont need you there as much because they have established their own self esteem.

If it helps, I will say, that my children now have commented on how much they appreciate our being there for different functions. They always knew that if they were nervous, they could count on a smile from us in the audience.

Just do the best you can and know that the benefit will be mostly for your children. It is one of the sacrifices of being a parent. xo

ok, I understand. Yes, usually apart from the moment your child appears actually doing something they are a drag. I suspect you might actually be in the majority there.

Yes shelly, you are right. I go to support my daughter. Not because I enjoy the event. This is certainly not something I would ever want to attend on my own with not children participating.

I dislike it just as much afterward as I do beforehand unfortunately, but I'm glad I went to support my daughter. :)

I can relate. My daughter just had a band concert the other night and I did not attend due to a migraine. I hate to say it, but i was sort of relieved. Being in that gym surrouned by all those people make me panic.

I have difficult being around people.

I can get dressed up and smile.

I'm agoraphobic so it's a struggle to get to a place where I might have to speak to someone I know. I don't like people I know.

I didn't go to my son's band Christmas concert. I asked if I could make it up to him later and he said they would be having a festival soon.

I've mentioned my fear of running into people I know and don't like, but I'm mostly afraid of my reaction to those people.

I can either melt where I stand or have a wicked tongue that is both inappropriate/cut throat/and potetially a leader into something physical.

Yeah, need therapy. Three years and counting. I do have an appointment for therapy in January. It's with a therapist that is intimidated by me. Weird woman, she is the person that IS someone. I'm nothing.

T

It sounds like most of us have/have had this problem, with a large part of the it being the forced social interaction.

You aren't alone in dreading going out and well done for the times you managed to overcome your fears....

{{{hugs}}}

i HATE going to school events with a passion. the crowds, the people, the crowds i become a nervous wreck and have to sit as close to the door as i possibly can. i am so thankful that kidlet isn't in choir or any sports in high school. the only thing i tolerate well is horse shows because they are either in large indoor arenas or outside. and, i know most of the people and like them. the parents at school were strangers.

Even though I don't like crowds and get nervous around them, I think for me the problem is just irritation. I get irratated at being there. It just seems pointless. I shouldn't feel that way, but I do. Ugghhh...

So funny you posted this. Last nite was my daughter's holiday chorus concert. I took the obligatory pix, but just wasn't into it.

I hate when parents in the audience yell out their kids names as they assemble on the stage.

I'm so weird... I yelled out 'Go Adolf!' and 'Engelbert!'....boy did I get nasty looks.

Go Adolf...that's hilarious! I'm pretty much the same way though. I can't stand the yelling of the kids name stuff. It's a concert...supposed to be a little more civilized. :)

I don't have juds yet, but Im pretty sure I wont enjoy holiday programs. I can't sit through boring stuff like that. I have had other parents ask me to go to their childrens holiday programs and in my head Im like HELL NO!!

On that note, I personally don't like graduations, I think they're HORRIBLE. They are so tedious. I didnt even want to go through my own. There were like 500 people that graduated in my class. Imagine having to sit through a bunch of speeches and 500 names. UGH.