How old are they?

It's not terrible the way you feel. I think kids need to learn to find their own happiness, self-worth, and so on and don't need to be "scheduled" every second of the day. My parents played games with us probably once or twice a month, but for the most part we were expected to entertain ourselves. We had tons of fun inventing games and playing together without a second thought to Mom. She would be doing crafts or sleeping (she had CFS) and we didn't stay in her hair.

These days everyone thinks the whole world should revolve around kids. I love my daughter and we do stuff together everyday, but I would be doing her a disservice if I taught her it was all about her. Even at 2 she understands that there is more to the world than her. It makes the world a lot more interesting to realize it exists independent of us and not solely for us.

Hang in there. Just tell them what mom told me. "If your bored wash the dishes, fold clothes, organize your closet, wash a car, rake leaves, and then come tell me if your still bored." We quickly decided a couple of blanket make a great fort and were fascinating compared to dishes. lol

Mine are now 23 and 21 - I sacrificed a lot thru the years so they never went without and tried to make up for the fact that their POS father was not around - he decided when my oldest was all of 7 that he couldnt handle the more than generous visitations the judge allowed him (mind you it was after the rat bastard had kidnapped them for 9 months) and he quit coming round. . .It will be a year next month since my oldest has said anything to me - her parting words were Dad is a sociopath so we expect his behavior but geez mom your ass is just fucking crazy.

Thinking that makes me not the right person to ask

My kids are 11 and 8. My kids want for nothing. I take them to my Mother's house some weekends, and we have a membership to the YMCA where we go swimming a couple of times per week.

I definitely pull the "if you're bored then go clean your room" bit all the time. They are spoiled rotten, without a doubt, but they just can't see it. So I might just schedule to start volunteering with my kids at a food pantry or something so they can see how good they have it.

Kids dont see the bigger picture , they only see what affects their little world. The dont seem to be able to put themselves in anothers shoes either. I think explaining to them that you pay the bills with the money is a good idea and pointing out that you do spend time with them. Its a good idea to tell them you are entitled to time or yourself. I would ask though how they would change things ??? It would be good to get their views and see is there any room for compromise ???? That why they know you are listening to them .

My kids' father left about 5 years ago. My son actually thought that one of my new friends was his Dad b/c he somewhat resembled him. Sad.

Thanks bcb, wied and katie. I will definitely ask them their opinion on the matter and see what it is that they think they're lacking.

I know how you are with your kids. I hope you are not questioning if you are a good mom,b/c you are a great mom and for doing things with them you do alot of things with them,,I think taking them to a food bank to let them see how good the do have it is a good Idea.. I need to do the same..

Doing volunteer work with your children is a wonderful idea... it sounds like they've been talking and want to share their feelings with you even if they are off track.. this is bothering them enough to want to sit down and talk...I can see why you'd feel angry by the way children approach things..it looks to me like you're very involved with their lives..and they can obviously come to you with what is bothering them.. that says a lot right there.. and it's all good..x

I agree Ev. Children nowadays are extremely spoiled. I obviously don't have the money to take them out much. No out to dinner, no movies, no Chuck E. Cheese. They have so many toys that I have told them to get together some of their toys so we can donate them to the goodwill where kids that have no toys can have some b/c they just have too many.

I have tried and tried to instill a sense of humanity (I think that's the word I'm looking for). But neither of my kids get it. They just want more, more, more. Me, Me, Me...Now, Now, Now.

All of my memories of childhood are the same Ev...going out and playing with the neighborhood kids until dark/dinner time. And I wouldn't trade that in for the world.

I just have to find a food pantry or soup kitchen that revolves around their school schedule.

Tina, I'm not questioning my parenting. Not at all. I've done what I think is best, and although I'm spoiling my kids I need to show them how much more they have than other people.

I will say this...at least your kids are comfortable talking to you about what is bothering them. While they may not have all the facts straight or might be a little bit misguided in their thinking at least they felt like they could come to you and tell you what they are feeling without you going off on them.

That will only benefit you and them in the future when they feel the need too.

Thanks everyone for your replies. Yes, my kids, at least my daughter, is very open about her feelings. My son will join in on the conversation when my daughter initiates it.

I'm not a yeller. I don't yell at my kids (unless it's very very warranted). So they know that they can talk to me about everything and anything. For that, I'm proud of myself, and of them.

I think my daughter might be comparing me to another kid's mother...and this kid's mother does absolutely EVERYTHING with him. In a perfect world, if I didn't have work to do, cleaning to do, laundry to do, classes to attend, appointments to go to, and my only social outlet (the internet)....maybe then I would spend my every waking moment trying to please and entertain my children. But that is not how life is.

I love my lazy unemployed sleeping eating shithead too.

I think you should spend more time with them!!! It doesn't necessarily have to be playing. I think the volunteering thing is an excellent idea!!!! Doing chores together would work!! Cooking together!!!
But there's nothing more precious than time. When I think back to my childhood, my most precious memories are of the times that I spent with my mom and my dad. Not the time I spent with the neighborhood kids, although those were fun memories, too!

I also have two children that want more, more, more. I feel like I don't take time for me ever, I have given up everything for my kids and it is still not enough. You have more trying times to come, "the teenage years". I too am a single parent with no financial/physical support from the sperm donars. I think today's world is different, you cannot allow your kids to run around the neighborhood and play anymore. I also think part of my kids problem is their grandparent {my mom and step-dad} give them everything they want and it is hard for me to keep up with them. My kids know I am having a hard time financially and that I work and pay all of the bills, yet they still ask me for something everywhere we go, even the damn gas station... I try to spend as much time with them as I can, and do things with them together and seperately in attempt to make up for the absence of their dad, but when do you draw the line and take time for you? I think that is part of the reason I am so down lately. I am even letting my house go into forecloseure and had to file bankruptcy to try to make sure my kids are raised in a safe environment and because my teenage daughter hates her school so bad. You can only do so much to make your kids happy, and sometimes I think part of being a parent is learning that you cannot make your kids happy all of the time.. That is part of growing up learning lifes lessons and learning to deal with life when things don't go exactly like you want them to. It is tough to do, believe me.. I have tried to do everything possible for my kids and I think the best thing you can do for your kids is to allow them to experience life as it really is, and it is not always good. If you continue to shelter them in life, they will have a hard time adjusting to the "real world" when they become adults. Love them unconditionally, and let them know that.. Try to teach them good morals and try to be a good role model for them. I have found many ways to spend time with my kids that don't cost anything such as fishing, bike riding, going to a lake to swim, going to the library etc. I feel like my kids don't appreciate me and sometimes feel like I owe them something for giving birth to them... I can only hope that when they are grown that they will know that I was always there for them and appreciate what I did for them eventhough sometimes it doesn't seem like they do. Hang in there and just do your best to be a good mom and they will appreciate you one day! Or at least I hope so!