I made plans this weekend to hang out with a friend at his place, got there and shortly after his sorta girlfriend called to say there was a party she had two tickets to and would he like to go. Of course he said yes. I was in no mood to be at home- I was sorta feeling down and I hate being home when I'm like that cos that's when the cutting happens. This other guy I know was on the same hall so I thought I'd stop by and say hi. Turns out a group of girls I knew were there and they were having movie night. I could feel the tension when I walked in, they were all looking at me like 'what the hell are you doing here', heck, one girl actually asked so I left shortly after. I just felt so unwanted there and these were people i knew. Anyhow, decided to stick around with my friend cos his gf wasn't gonna be there for a while. When she finally did come I still was in no mood to be alone so I thought maybe I'd give hanging out with the Ice group another shot, knocked on the door and no one answered. Worse, they turned the lights off to make it seem like they weren't there. I won't even tell you how embarrassed and hurt I felt. It just made my mood worse. As luck would have it the only other person I felt like hanging out with also had plans so the big loser I am I slept in my friend's room til 4 when he and his gf came back from their party and walked home. Now I don't feel like being around those people anymore. I thought we were getting along but I guess not. My friend implied it might be because of how am, my 'crazy'. "You need to learn to not act so... crazy around people, save it for when you're alone". I could have strangled him for saying that like I WANT to be the girl nobody wants to hang out with or i WANT to be the 'crazy weird chic'. Sigh.